


Yet all along I knew we'd be fine

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Pregnant Niall, Teen Parent AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 13:42:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3070334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pregnant?" Harry repeats dumbly, staring at him. It makes sense; they fucked and a few months later Niall's saying this. He just doesn't want to believe it. "Like... Like a baby and shit?"</p><p>"Like a baby and shit." Niall confirms, biting into his bottom lip. Seconds later, "We're totally screwed, aren't we?"</p><p>or</p><p>Niall and Harry become teen parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Its a Tuesday morning and the sun is just rising, but Liam is already at the edge of his bed, shaking him awake. Harry rolls over, flails his arm in attempt to find the snooze button, and groans.

"C'mon, Harry, you were the one complaining that you wanted to make track this year but never could." Liam grabbed his arm and tugged, sighing when Harry refused to even open his eyes. "Harry, mate, I woke up 45 minutes earlier than usual and not just for you to ignore me."

Harry sighs and blinks his eyes open at that, though he didn't really need to see for himself to know Liam was bordering his wounded puppy look, he could tell from just the tone of his voice. "I'm up, I'm up." He mumbled, tossing the covers off and slowly sitting up.

He's dressed and ready in fifteen minutes in a sweatshirt that smells pretty decent and a pair of shorts that really don't match, sneakers laced up and bottle of water in hand. He's still got a scowl on his face, but Liam only laughs.

"You get used to it," The older boy shrugs, opening the door but both of them coming to a dead stop at the sight.

There's Niall, sat in the arm chair previously in Harry's living room but now apparently on his front lawn. Niall, who Harry had actually fucked on the very arm chair the blonde was sat in and had somehow gotten outside.

Harry and Niall had been inseparable since Kindergarden when Harry fell off the monkey bars and Niall did it too just so the other kids would stop laughing at him. They had the kind of friendship most people envied, and over time it only got stronger until last year. They were still friends, but somewhere along the way their hang outs reduced to once every two weeks instead of all day everyday and some of the things they had always done- like movie night Fridays, stopped.

So, while he and Niall are or at least were close/best friends, Harry still can't figure out a plausible reason for this.

"Uh- Hi." He says, staring with wide eyes. He wants to ask how he managed to get the arm chair out here, why he did it too, and he wants to apologize for not reaching out in the two months it had been since.

"Hi." Niall said softly, and Harry could tell from the sharpness of his voice he was nervous. "I- So uh- the arm chair? You uh, you've figured that much out I'm guessing?"

Harry nodded slowly, "It's what we did, right?" He asked, stepping outside. He vaguely hears Liam mumble something about going to make a bagel before the run and a part of him wishes Liam wouldn't have left him out here alone. He's not sure why, but he's scared. Maybe it's from the look in Niall's eyes or the tone of his voice, but he just can't figure out what could be wrong.

Niall laughs, actually laughs, and Harry starts to wonder if this is possibly just a joke. Niall might have just wanted to see him sweat, or maybe this was his way of telling Harry he wants to ride Harry with those sinful hips again.

Then he notices the way his eyes don't crinkle at the corners the way they usually do when he laughs hard, how the usual lightness is heavy with something he can't quite place. That's when the fear washes over him in one rough wave, suffocating him with every passing second.

"Well uh, I mean... Something... It's- yeah, I guess- the thing is-" Niall swallows, and sucks in a big breath, trying to remember to just breathe. "I'm pregnant." He says, the last word cracking as it catches in his throat, using all that he has to choke it out.

Harry's seen plenty of television specials. He's watched movies with an unexpected twist of a pregnancy, so it's not as if he didn't know it was possible. He just never thought it would happen to him.

"Pregnant?" Harry repeats dumbly, staring at him. It makes sense; they fucked and a few months later Niall's saying this. He just doesn't want to believe it. "Like... Like a baby and shit?"

"Like a baby and shit." Niall confirms, biting into his bottom lip. Seconds later, "We're totally screwed, aren't we?"

Harry snapped his gaze back over to Niall when he spoke up, visibly deflating at his words. A large part of him was so hoping he would find that signature smirk, listen to him cackle his genuine way and hear him rave about how priceless his face was and that this was all the best joke. The logical part of him knew that was not happening.

"Totally." He agreed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Are you like-"

"I haven't decided anything." Niall cut him off, sighing. "I haven't- I don't know, I really just don't fucking know."

Harry sucked in a big breath, looking him up and down. He scoffed his shoe against the ground, "I- Do your parents know yet? Or well... Your dad, I mean?"

"No," Niall let out a bitter laugh, "Could you imagine my dad? He'd kill me if he found out. 'We can hardly afford two mouths to feed, Niall. We can't have a pet too.' You think he'll just all of a sudden be okay with a baby bunking with us for eighteen years?"

"Well... Fuck." Is all he says, Niall giving a nod as if he had taken the words right from him. He brushed a hand through his curls, "I mean- I guess I'll tell my mum? I don't- I don't know what to say..." But she will, Harry thought, because she had gone through this only a handful of years older than Harry.

Cue the rain, he adds in his mind sarcastically, because like in every movie ever made, it's supposed to start to rain right after news like this- meant to be some metaphor of every little drop of rain representing an unshed tear. Sad, is he supposed to be sad? Angry? He doesn't know, and frankly, he's not even sure what he's feeling.

He gave Niall another once over, eyes lingering on his still slim stomach. "You're... You're sure, right? Like- have you taken a test or whatever?"

Nialls expression morphs into a crude glare and he snaps, "No Harry, I just decided to go around telling you I'm pregnant for the fun of it!" With such a bite behind it Harry can't believe it actually came from Niall who's always been all smiles and full double-over-with-the-force laughs.

Harry puts his hands up in surrender, knowing for some reason it's better to let Niall have this one then to fire something back. "Look so um- do you wanna maybe come in? We can skip today and... You know, talk this over? Liam could take our notes for us or- or something?"

Niall pauses then, looking down at the ground and kicking at an imaginary pebble on the pavement. "Yeah," He finally says, "Alright. Um. Like. Yeah."

Harry sighs quietly before he can help it, gesturing Niall over half-heartedly as he spun on his heel and began to walk inside. He couldn't quite pinpoint an emotion in that moment, because there was so much going through his head. There was the anger with himself that he'd brushed off the thought of a condom, the twist of horror settled deep in his chest at the thought of actually being a dad.

Neither of them said another word until Liam was staring at them both with a quirked brow, asking if everything was alright even though it was fairly obvious from the far too quick atmosphere change they were not.

When Harry asks if he'd be okay with taking notes and covering for them he nods, his brow furrowed but doesn't question them any further, and really Harry is so grateful for that. Liam leaves after that, chewing on his bagel and giving Harry a nod and Niall a final wave, leaving the two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of Harry's kitchen.

"Can um- You hungry?" Harry asked awkwardly, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat. "I mean like pregnant people tend to eat more, right? Or you're supposed to anyway I think? So you should probably eat something."

"I'm good." Niall walks himself over to the table and sits down, giving Harry a look. "That's not really why I'm here, is it?"

"Well, no, I- It's not." Harry lets out a shaky breath, left with no choice but to walk over and sit himself across from Niall. "You're here because of uh- you're pregnant."

Niall nods then, grabs the carton of orange juice and twists the cap off, not even needing Harry's assurance when he poured himself some using one of the empty glasses on the table. He chugs it down until about half is left, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt once he'd downed it. He doesn't speak though, so Harry takes that as invitation to go ahead and talk more.

"Is there something specific you want from me?" Harry blurts, and as soon as he says it he wants to smack himself. "I mean no I- I don't mean it like that I just meant like, have you known for a while and just decided to tell me now? And if that is the case then why?"

Niall looks him up and down for a few moments, his shoulders sagging slightly. "I took this test last Sunday night." As he says it he pulls the said test out of the pocket of his sweatshirt, holding it out for him to take. "And I thought maybe it was faulty? Because my cousin said that happened to his girlfriend once but- I went to the doctor and it's like- there's a baby."

Harry takes the test, looking down at the now slightly faded pink plus. He rubs his thumb over it, when suddenly his nose scrunches up as he thinks of the process of exactly how this test was taken. "You peed on this?" He asks, although he's fairly certain he knows the answer.

Niall's lips quirk up into a slight smirk at that, a laugh coming out before he can stop it. "Yeah. I did." He watches as Harry drops the test down onto the table, rubbing his hands against his jeans as if that will take whatever filth off. "But, so, like, I don't know what I'm doing with the kid yet. But considering you're the dad and all I feel like you should have some say, you know?"

And no, Harry doesn't know, because he's never been in a situation like this before but he nods anyway because that seems like the right thing to do. "I guess." He says, toying with the corner of the fraying placemat in front of him. "I don't think you should abort it Niall." He began after a moment, "It's a baby."

"I know what it is, Harry." Niall retorts, the previous attitude from outside seeming to slowly be returning. Hormones, Harry thinks, pregnant people have more hormones so this must just be normal. "I also know that neither of us are ready for a baby."

"Well then we can just put it up for adoption." Harry points out, yet even as he says that there's something inside of him that aches with the thought. Some innocent little baby never knowing why his or her parents didn't want it, why they didn't even try to take care of it.

"I- I don't know right now Harry, okay?" Niall rested his face in his hands, "You should know better than anyone right now this is a hell of a lot to take in and I'm fucking terrified. So excuse me for fucking not having an exact plan of what we should do about this."

Harry doesn't say anything for a minute, until finally he looked up to Niall. For a moment, Niall thinks he's ready to snap back, kick him out and handle it on his own. But he should know better, because this is Harry after all who has to eat the head off of gummy bears first so he "feels less guilty" about eating them. So it shouldn't have come as much of a shock when the boy didn't scream, just gave him a half-scolding look and said, "You shouldn't curse." gesturing down to the Niall's stomach, "The baby might hear."

"The baby doesn't have ears yet," Niall says all matter-of-fact like, his shoulders squaring up a tad. "The doctor said its only about the size of a jelly bean right now. Or maybe it was kidney bean, I don't really remember." His brow furrows for a moment as he tries to think until finally Harry just waves him off with a small hint of a smile.

"Don't worry about it," He nudges Niall's foot against his own briefly, trying to give him a little comfort without crossing a line. "We'll go with jelly bean, cause I like jelly beans and kidney beans are weird."

They don't say anything for a long time after that, both boys lost with all of this. It's weird, Harry thinks, because if he had thought about this before now he would have expected himself to be sobbing on the phone to his mum right now, locked in the bathroom or his bedroom or somewhere yet here is. He's not perfect, and he's certainly not close to be alright yet but he's okay and okay is better than horrible.

Harry doesn't know when, but somehow they move into the living room at some point, both trying to ignore the fact they're skipping school and that with every tv program they watch they're that much closer to his mum getting home and both of them facing her.

At the end of their first episode, he asks Niall something that's been in the back of his mind for a while. "Why the chair?"

Niall gives him a confused look for a moment, before his mouth forms a tiny little 'o' and he nods slightly. "Well, I've only known you for years now. It's not that hard to remember you hide your key under the front mat. And I thought that, like, if I did something like a grand gesture? I guess? You maybe wouldn't totally flip shit on me."

The next episode starts before either of them can squeeze in another word, and Harry turns back away gratefully.

It's about halfway into their third rerun of Friends when it suddenly hits Harry, when it all just washes over him like a big tidal wave. It's just after eleven in the morning and Harry's mum isn't due back until five, but Harry's sure if he does this a moment longer he's going to be sick.

He can't believe they're doing this, that this is a real and actual thing, them sitting on the couch and missing classes because Niall's pregnant and- oh fuck, Niall's pregnant. Niall's pregnant with Harry's baby, he's going to be a dad to an actual living breathing human. He can see the worried look Niall's giving him but he can't calm down, not when he knows there's a life inside Niall with part of him, there's a part of him in Niall's stomach.

The things is, once he starts to think about it he can't stop and the more he thinks about it the more upset he gets. He has tears pooling in his eyes when he finally whisp out his phone and calls his mum, totally ignoring the concerned look Niall's giving him. "Mum," He doesn't skip a beat when she answers, the word coming out slightly choked. "Mum can- please come home, please Mum."

Anne's home in fifteen minutes despite what usually takes her a thirty minute drive, and Harry is close to hysteric by now. Her heels click along the hallway as she shuffles down it as fast as she can, panicking at the sight of her son curled up on the couch just sobbing yet confused when she sees Niall on the recliner just a few feet away.

"Harry," She says slowly, in this soothing voice that Harry doesn't deserve. Not when he messed up so bad, not when he more than likely ruined both his and Niall's lives. "Harry, you have to talk to me love. You have to tell me what's going on."

Harry looks to Niall, his face blotchy and red from tears, silently begging him to say it. To tell her exactly what he'd told him this morning and Niall wants to say no. He wants to stamp his feet and scream and tell Harry he needs to grow a pair because he already had a hard enough time telling him this morning. He doesn't though, he gives his own silent nod before taking in a shaky breath.

"Don't hate us," Is how he starts, voice quiet and timid in a way that's so unlike Niall it send s a chill through all of them. "Harry- Harry and I had sex." He says it quick, the words piling on top of one another, and the shocked look Anne gives the both of them is enough to make him cry again. If only she knew the whole thing.

"Are you boys fighting now?" She asks slowly, and Harry nearly snorts because he only wishes that was the biggest problem they had right now. "When did this happen? Are you both together now or-"

Niall cuts her off before she can continued, his voice caught in his throat until then. Finally, he manages to work himself up to saying a, "There's more," eyes falling shut as he breathes. He blinks his eyes back open when he tells her, bites his lip before saying a soft, nearly inaudible, "I'm pregnant."

Anne reacts better than Harry thought she would but worse than he had hoped. She sits there silent for a long time, lips pressed into a thin line and eyes shut as if the words are just going to hit her if she stays like that long enough. It's enough to make Harry feel even worse about this.

"Mum," He whispered through a wheeze, tears continuing to stream steadily, "Mum please say something, yell at me just- something." He's desperate and he knows it but he's long past the point of caring.

"I'm very disappointed in you," She finally says, blowing out a breath as she opens her eyes again and looks between them. "Both of you, because you're both at fault and you should both know better."

It hurts, to hear her say that, just like it always does. This time, however, it hurts more than it ever has before because he knows she means it. He knows she's probably never been so disappointed in him in his life for getting himself into such a horrible position. He accepts it anyway, knows he deserves to hear it.

"I don't think there are words I can use right now to let you boys know what kind of situation you've put yourselves in." She continues when neither of them speak, shaking her head slightly. Harry knows she's probably thinking of her time as a young mum, dreading that life for her son. "This is easily going to be the hardest thing you've ever done whether or not you decide to keep it or not."

"Niall's thinking about abortion." Harry blurts before he can stop it, eyes going somewhat wide himself at his voice. He swallows before he glances at Niall who's giving him a smoldering glare, gulping before he turns back to his Mum. "Mum you- tell him it's a baby, he can't just kill a baby."

"Well we can't just keep a baby either!" Niall points out, voice low and dark and angrier than Harry has ever heard him. 

"Both of you, enough." Anne's voice is calm but she's staring at both of them with an irked expression, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't fight like that anymore, I won't allow it. Not only is that bad for the baby, but you're both acting immature."

"Mum," Harry tries again, tears coming up again for an entire new reason. He doesn't want this baby, not yet anyway, but he doesn't want it dead either. "He can't just get an abortion."

"He can't," Anne agrees, looking over to Niall who's jaw tightens. "Abortions cost a lot of money, Niall. And I know you and Harry don't have hundreds of dollars to blow on that. And even if you did, I wouldn't let you. You boys got yourself into this mess, you're going to deal with it."

Harry watches it unfold, surprised at how quickly Niall's face crumbles until his lip is wobbling. Anne sighs, holds her arms out, and lets both boys cuddle in close. 

"I'm sorry," Niall says quietly, the words muffled into her shoulder but still clear enough to be heard. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do with a baby. I don't want to fuck it up."

"I'm not going to leave you two on your own with this, you know." Anne says quietly, brushing one hand through Harry's curls in that way that always soothes him. "I'm going to help you boys through this. It's going to be hard, harder than you could ever imagine, but I don't have a doubt you boys won't be able to do it."

"It's a baby," Harry says shakily, attempting to swallow the lump formed high in his throat. "It's an actual baby and.. And we're not ready for that. We can't have a baby, not us."

Anne shakes her head a little, "You both knew what you were doing when you had sex, unprotected sex actually. You both knew there were repercussions that could come with it, like pregnancy or even disease." 

"We weren't thinking." Niall says softly, glancing to Harry. "It all just kind of happened so quick?" He's still looking to Harry who nods as if to confirm that's the right way to put this.

Anne lets out a small laugh, "You don't have to give me details. I know what you mean because I was only about a year and a half older than you boys when I got pregnant too. Which is why I can't be mad at you boys, because that would be hypocritical of me."

"Don't tell my dad?" Niall asks after a moment, "Please? He's not like you he'll be so mad, not like- screaming mad I don't think but mad." 

"You might not be able to hide this for long," Anne warns him, "There are certain things you're going to have to do, that you'll have to change. No more footie or lifting things heavier than your backpack. You have to take vitamins and eat certain things more and some things less. He's going to notice when you come here more often, because you will be coming here every day. If you're going to deal with this every day, Harry will too."

"I'll hide it as long as I can." Niall mumbles to himself, looking down at his stomach. "We- Harry said maybe adoption? As an option instead of abortion and-"

"No." Anne deadpans, looking between both of them. "I will not allow my first grandchild to be sent off to live with another family. The other reason you'll be coming over everyday is because I'll be teaching you boys all about raising a kid, parenting classes." She doesn't mention that if she can really see by the end of this they really can't raise this baby up, she'll get custody over it so they won't have to regret this years down the road.

Harry looks to Niall again, and he doesn't know if the boy is meaning to or not but he has a hand resting on top of his stomach, splayed across it right on top of where there baby is growing. There's something about the sight of it that sparks something inside of him in a weird way yet terrifies him too, so he looks away again and pushes both emotions down until he's numb to them for the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry's dressed and ready sitting on the front porch when Liam comes to pick him up and try their morning run again the next morning. Liam seems surprised but for the moment Harry just shrugs it off claiming he didn't want to listen to Liam whine again and the boy accepts it.

They start off with a slow jog, side by side down the streets that are pretty much dead so early and Harry likes it this way. He likes the calm that comes with being the first out and about, the way he feels like he can breathe.

Harry should know, he should see it coming because yesterday everything was so abrupt and Liam was there as it all began to unravel, but it still catches him off guard when Liam asks, "Can you tell me what yesterday was about?" Without even breaking the pace they've set, like it's something so simple and easy and fuck, Harry doesn't even know if he should be telling people.

He falters for a minute, falls a few steps behind but quickly recovers and catches up, swallowing hard. "I'm in a bit of a mess, Payno." He says, and he stops his steps then, letting out a heavy sigh.

Liam stops too when he realizes Harry's no longer by his side, hears the tone behind his words. He looks at him, brow furrowed with concern, lip jutting out the way it always does when he's worried. "What's going on then?"

Harry hesitates, wonders if he's allowed to tell anyone about what's going on. Then again, it doesn't matter much, because Niall's bound to get a belly at some point and then the actual baby will be here and everyone's going to find out eventually. He trusts Liam too, knows he won't go telling it to everyone and somehow let it slip to the wrong person who would tell Niall's dad.

"I'm gonna be a dad, Liam." He blurts, eyes widening when he realizes he's actually just said it. The words feel like they're just bubbling out on their own accord, heart pounding like he's hearing it for the first time all over again. "Fuck- I got Niall pregnant."

"For real?" Liam's eyebrows raise up, "When did you and Niall even.."

"It just kind of happened," Harry says meekly, shoulders slumping forward. "He came over, I think? I really- I don't even remember much of what happened, we weren't even drunk or anything but it was just like.. It was a pretty normal day until that happened and even that was such a blur. And now I've knocked him up Liam, and we have to keep it, Mum says."

Liam let out a low whistle, "Rough, mate." He said, resting a hand on Harry's back and rubbing it gently. Harry's glad to have Liam, really, because the boy knows how to react just enough without overdoing it. He can sense when you just need to rant something out, says a few words of agreement here or there but let's you go off as you please when you need it.

"I don't think rough can even begin to describe it. I don't even think I could describe it with any word, Liam. It's like, I'm sort of happy, right? Like, I think deep down I'm kinda a little excited cause it's my baby but- but at the same time neither of us know a thing about how to raise a kid." He takes in a deep breath and looks to Liam who's nodding like he understands before he continues.

"I'm really scared." He admits, biting his bottom lip because he promised himself he wouldn't cry again. He's already done so much crying and whenever he does it makes him feel so guilty, because he's crying over something that didn't choose to be born. Didn't choose to be made because two idiot teenage boys made a big whoopsie.

He tells Liam as much, and despite himself he starts to cry with those big ugly sobs of his that turn his face splotchy and make his eyes go bloodshot quick. Liam wraps him up into a bear hug and doesn't let him go until he's calm again, like its routine for his best friend to have a breakdown in the middle of the street.

"It'll be alright, Harry." Liam tries, but Harry only shakes his head furiously as more tears begin to fall.

"It won't though, will it?" He lets out a laugh, and it's a humorless, bitter one drenched with the misery he's feeling. "It's a baby, a permanent living human being that's going to be on this planet probably longer than you and me."

"Anne's really making you keep it then?" Liam asks instead of commenting further on that. Right now, he doesn't see the need to push Harry, it's pretty easy to figure out Harry is already dealing with enough as is. "I would've thought she'd be okay with you and Niall making the adult decision."

Harry pressed his lips together, shaking his head, "Well, she's not." He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "She says we have to keep it. Like, raise it and stuff. I don't know what we're going to do, Liam. I don't know what I'm going to do with a baby. I killed those goldfish I won at the fair that one time in the first 24 hours!"

"You'll learn, I'm sure your Mum isn't gonna just make you figure it all out. Even if she's making you keep it, she's not like that." Liam points out, giving him a small judge in he direction back toward the house. They have to start heading back or they'll be late to school, and Harry's already gotten a lecture from Anne about how he's not allowed to skip the day.

"She said she's going to teach us," He admits, biting his lip lightly, "Called it parenting classes or something, but not actual ones. She told me Niall has to come over everyday after school and we'll set a time up for weekends too."

Liam laughs at that, not a big laugh but a small chuckle, putting his hands up when Harry glares anyway. "Sorry it's not that it's funny it's just- kind of ironic? Isn't it? You used to have him over every single day anyway and you would look for excuses to have him over, and now she's making you do it and I can already see you trying to brainstorm an excuse for getting out of a few days of this."

"Yeah, ironic it is." Harry sighs, gesturing Liam inside so they can grab a quick breakfast before school.

-

During the school day, Harry feels like somehow everyone just knows. Every gaze someone sends his way burns, makes him squirm as if they're judging him and screaming at him in their minds, labeling him as something he's not. No one really knows, of course, but it doesn't sooth his nerves any less.

Liam's kind through out the day, they have a handful of their classes together and he warns the other lads to take it easy on him, Zayn and Louis giving him a weird look but not much more. They're just a bit more cautious than usual.

He doesn't see Niall much and he's thankful for that, even if he should be worried and checking up on him he just doesn't. He needs a little break from babybabybaby and he knows Niall can hold his own, he doesn't need looking after.

When he's gathering his things at his locker at the end of the day he gets a group text form his mum, just him Niall and her are in it. 'Parked outside. Both of you be out here in ten minutes or Im coming looking for you.' She's sent, Harry letting out a groan.

He makes it outside just as Niall is getting there too, picking up the pace so he can catch up. "Hey.." He murmured, placing a hand on Nialls shoulder to slow him down. "You alright?"

"You mean aside from the pregnancy?" Niall blinks at him for a moment, nodding when Harry merely shrugs. "Then yeah, I'm alright." He says, before continuing to walk to the car.

"Both of you in the back," Anne points to the backseat with her thumb, "Hurry it up now. It's you first day of parenting classes and we're going on a field trip the the pharmacy."

"No way!" Niall yelps, freezing half way with the buckle of his seat belt stretched across his lap, eyes widening with her words, "We can't! If someone sees us buying pregnancy stuff everyone's going to find out!"

Harry nods quickly, "I don't want everyone knowing yet either." He said with a frown, "Neither of us are ready for people to know."

"I know that," Anne said calmly, starting to drive off, "Which is why you're lucky I'm being nice and taking you boys to the next town over for vitamins and all."

When she says it, Harry thinks of a bottle of chew-able vitamins like the kind he always had to take when he was little. As it turns out, prenatal vitamins are very different from the dinosaur ones when he was seven.

"Are all of these really necessary?" Niall asks, and Harry has to wonder the same thing. It just all seems to be a bit much, Anne's already got about five bottles in the cart and she doesn't seem to be stopping, continuing to scan the racks until she finds what she's apparently looking for.

"They're all necessary." Anne confirms, turning to look at both of them. "You'll really have to take these, Niall. And I mean it, because there's a lot of bad consequences that can come with skipping them."

Niall chewed on his lip lightly, "Like what?" He asked, bringing a hand up to chew on his nail, a nervous habit of his he's done for years now.

"Miscarriage," Anne begins, but that seems to be enough for both boys. Miscarriage is a scary word, bigger than abortion but still possible. "And birth defects. There's more things too, but I don't want you two getting overly paranoid. If you listen to me and take these," She holds the basket up, "then I promise everything will be fine. Or even if something went wrong, it wouldn't be anything either of you had done."

Harry gulps before he can stop it, lips pressed together tightly into a thin line. He hadn't thought of their little baby boy or girl being born with something wrong, born premature or with some medical issues. He's only ever thought of the scariness of actually being a dad, not losing their baby like that.

Anne senses their both tense now and sets the basket on the floor, wrapping her arms around the boys. "It's going to be okay." She assures, rubbing both their backs a tad. "I've made an appointment with a doctor for Friday, so he'll go over everything and more then too."

She leaves them alone for a few minutes claiming to need to pick up a few other things while they're here, leaving the boys alone in the middle of an aisle filled with things they're apparently going to need now.

"Are you going to breastfeed?" Harry asks randomly, his gaze fixed on a small section of various breast pumps. "Some people choose not to, I think you just use formula then."

Niall looks at Harry and gives him a weak shrug, shuffling over to where he's stood and blinks at the pumps himself. "Dunno, haven't thought of that yet."

Harry breaks away from the little contraptions and settles on Niall, "Yeah," He sighs, "I get what you mean. I think there's a lot of things we haven't thought of yet though." He takes in a deep breath before he continues, "How are you? Really?"

Niall crosses his arms over his chest, "Honestly?" He mumbled, shaking his head a little bit. "Not- Not good." He admits, "I'm just scared. Really scared. And- And I've been throwing up and I get these cramps and it's just hard trying to not say something to my Da. He's worried, and I don't know what to tell him."

Harry feels bad in an instant, face morphing into a small frown. He felt scared too, obviously, but at least his Mum knew about what he was going through and had already been so open with helping them. He couldn't imagine trying to hide that from her, let alone doing it while being the pregnant one.

He wants to comment on it, tell Niall how strong he is and how he knows they'll be able to pull through, but Niall has never been one for opening up like this and spilling his feelings expecting comfort so Harry just keeps his mouth shut.

As Harry expected, Niall's closed up again in a second, clearing his throat slightly as he goes back to looking at all the baby things. "You know," He says, breaking the silence that had been between them again, "I just don't understand why there are so many different brands of diapers."

"Me either," Niall gestures a hand over to where the diapers are piled in on the bottom shelf, all sorts of brands and types and even designs. "I mean, it's like a baby's toilet, right? Why do they need little animals on something that's literally going to be holding their shit."

"Exactly!" Harry shakes his head, and they both laugh, genuinely laugh, for the first time in a long time.

They leave after just a few more minutes, both of them confused when Anne refuses to drive Niall home yet and claims there's still a lot to learn. Harry wishes he didn't catch sight of that sad look that flickered in her eyes when she said it was a serious matter.

Anne puts tea on the kettle when they get home and tells Niall and Harry to set all the bottles out on the counter while she gets it ready. They do so without protest, sharing concerned looks when they sit down at the table once they're finished.

"Niall," She begins, stirring an extra spoonful of sugar into her tea. "Do you remember the doctor saying how far along he thought you were when you went?"

Niall nodded slowly, "Yeah, uh-" He chews his lip for a moment, thinking, "He said probably about seven weeks, maybe eight."

"Alright." Anne clasped her hands together around her mug, looking at Niall first and then over to Harry. "You're in what's called the first trimester of a pregnancy, okay? There's three trimesters and it goes by how many months pregnant you are." She explained, "So you're about two months along then, which means you're in your first trimester too."

"We learned about this in health," Harry cut in, swallowing nervously. He doesn't know if he wants to go into details yet, if he wants to know more about the changes Niall's body is going through and what's happening to the baby. It makes him sound terrible, but he can't sit there and act like he actually wants to hear all of this. "So it's- you're good, you don't have to tell us all this."

Anne eyes him for a moment, looks him up and down with that disappointed look just like the one she had yesterday. "Well I have a feeling you'll pay more attention if you hear it again now. Clearly whatever they taught you in health to prevent this in the first place didn't stick, so I don't see why I should believe anything else they taught you did." She said, and while it was a low blow a part of him knew he deserved it. She bent down again into one of the bags she'd told the boys not to bother with, putting a little booklet out on the table. "I want you boys to look in that, and look at what your baby is like right about now."

Harry makes no move toward it so Niall shoots him a discrete glared, opening up to the seventh week. It's an ultrasound from a someone who is not Niall, obviously, but no one (or at least Harry) would be able to tell the difference since there's seemingly nothing there. "Mum?" Harry says slowly, "Is this even a baby?"

"Of course it's a baby." Niall grumbled, elbowing him in the side. Harry whined a little but didn't bother to say anything, let alone do anything when he noticed the warning look his Mum was giving him. The blonde let out a sigh, resting his thumb just below a small white shape in the midst off the black. "That's the baby," He said, glancing to Anne for assurance, "Right?"

Anne nodded, "Right." She confirmed, blowing on the still steaming tea before taking a small sip. "The first trimester is the riskiest," She explained, "It's when a lot of people tend to lose the baby if they do. It's possible to in the second, but it's rare. You're already nearly in your second month, which is.." She pursed her lips, "It's good we found out now and we can start you on these vitamins and make sure you're taking proper care of yourself."

That sick feeling Harry had when she'd first mentioned miscarriage was back again in an instant, squirming slightly in his seat. "If he takes the vitamins and listens to you and the doctor though? The baby should be good?" He asked. 

It's weird, how quickly he goes from dreading even looking at Niall to protective of the baby, but he's still just so confused. He knows he's happy in some ways, but then he thinks of pushing the pram through the store when their baby is born and getting the looks from people he's seen a handful of other young parents get and he just gets terrified and nervous all over again.

Anne goes on to explain that the baby should be fine as long as he does that, and Harry starts to feel a little better. He pays attention, more so than he ever had in health, and he's so absorbed he actually jumps a bit in surprise when he feels something nudging his hand.

When he looks down he sees it's Niall's hand and he's even more surprised than before. He glances up and sees that the boy hasn't missed a beat, watching Anne carefully as she goes over everything. He hesitates for a moment before finally he takes his hand, interlocking their fingers. He doesn't miss the flicker of a smile that appears when he does.

It should be weird, and it is weird in some ways, because they haven't even really had a proper non-baby related conversation since long before the night they had sex, but at the same time it feels so right, like nothings changed.

"I have a question," Niall murmured, "How am I supposed to take all these vitamins and stuff when- when I can't have my Da knowing about them for a while?"

"You can come over in the mornings, Harry's starting to run with Liam anyway, they can run to your house, walk you back, and then you can eat here and walk with them to school." Anne didn't bother to ask Harry if he and Liam would even be okay with it because she knew he wasn't going to protest.

Harry feels Niall give his hand a squeeze from where they're still locked underneath the table, and he doesn't waste a moment before he squeezes right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the great feedback on this story so far! I'm sorry this is a little shorter than last chapter, I'm still getting used to writing things any longer than 2k words, so trying to write 3k and 4k+ is a stretch. But I did it and will continue to as this story goes along! Hope this was an okay chapter, I was really nervous to post it because this story got a great response I didn't expect at all and even a few writers whose stories I really love left feedback. Sorry this got long, I promise all notes won't be this long, but I hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

_Harry's eleven years old standing on a rotting log when he gets his first kiss._

_There's a stream not too far down from his house that him and Niall like to try catching frogs in during summer after rainy days leave it muddy and sloppy and "perfect frog snatching conditions" according to Niall._

_He's not trying to kiss her, is the thing. She was just this new girl and Anne had insisted he befriend her after both their Mum's had begun talking. Harry figures this girl, Delaney, is pretty. She's got dark brown hair that dangles past her shoulders and hazel eyes, but that doesn't mean he wants to kiss her._

_He's stood on the log with her right in front of him, both of them eye level so he can point out a few things they can see from their spot. She's taller than him by quite a bit and it was awkward with her crouching down so close to him to try and see what he was talking about so he had decided to come up to her view. Then she cuts him off by leaning in with puckered lips and kissing him._

_It's his first kiss, he doesn't know what he's doing but he figures he learns quick, kissing her back because he knows that's what you're supposed to do even though it feels so wrong deep down._

_Harry feels awkward when he pulls back, wiping his mouth on his sleeve in a futile attempt to rid himself of the lingering taste of bubblegum chap-stick. She slaps him on the arm and calls him a jerk-face, and he leaves to find Niall._

_As he walks back through the field trailing behind the girl who is stomping away quite a ways in front of him, Harry can't help but realize he goes to Niall a lot of the time. Like when his Mum took him to the new barber that had opened home and he'd gotten a weird hair cut, or when he'd gotten his first ever actual letter grade (an A on his maths test) instead of those little '+' or '-' you get when you're little._

_He's only eleven, so he doesn't think about it much, but he still grins to himself when his thoughts trail to it for a moment because Niall is just a really great best friend._

_It's not that hard to find his friend, he's outside his house kicking a football against the garage (even though Harry knows his dad has told him off for it countless times) and he sees Niall miss the ball, watching it start to roll down the short driveway._

_Harry catches it with his foot when it reaches him and looks up to Niall, biting his lip. "I got kissed," He mumbles out, throwing the ball back. He almost feels guilty when he says it, though he can't figure out why. "A girl kissed me."_

_Niall looks at him like he's surpised, until finally he just pouts, "That's not fair," He whines, "I'm older, I'm supposed to get to do stuff like that first."_

_"Only by like, a few months!" Harry pointed out, trying to smile. He finds himself unable to though, that unsettling feeling in his stomach stuck there._

_"Almost five months." Niall grins triumphantly, sticking his tongue out at the curly haired boy although he quickly retracts it when he notices Harry isn't laughing like he normally does. "What's wrong?" He frowns, "Was it weird or something?"_

_Harry shrugs, because he figures it was. He doesn't know how to explain it, but he just didn't like it. He doesn't know why, because when he's asked his Mum or some of the older kids in his school about kissing they've all said it's nice, but he just didn't think so. "I guess." He finally says, "It wasn't- I didn't like it. Her lips tasted weird."_

_Niall's nose scrunches up both in thought and at hat Harry was admitting, finally bending down and picking his ball up. "Well," He says, "We'll just have to redo your first kiss."_

_Harry looks at him confused, sighing, "How do we do that?" He asks sadly, "I don't think-"_

_He's cut off by Niall pressing his lips to his own, and this time it feels right. When he kisses back this time he doesn't feel guilt, and when he does pull away he doesn't feel like he has to wipe his mouth off._

_He still asks Niall why he did it, not mad of course, just curious. Niall only shrugs and says Harry wanted a better first kiss and Niall wanted to have his anyway._

_Niall asks if that kiss was better then the one before, Harry doesn't hesitate to say yes._

_At the time, he was too young to process any of it properly. Too young to comprehend that the reasoning behind his lack of interest in the first kiss was because it was with a girl, that he just doesn't like girls that kind of way. So he settles for thinking it's because the second (first) kiss was better because it was with Niall, who is his best friend in the whole world and who he does everything with._

_It's not a big deal then, they're both only eleven years old after all, so they have a little kick about like they typically do anyway with Harry sending the ball askew more often then not and Niall attempting to give him pointers here and there so he doesn't have to continuously chase the ball down the street._

_Harry can't help but subconsciously rub his lips together every so often, deciding the taste of cherry popsicle Niall's lips had left was far better than any disgusting bubblegum flavor._

_That's how it starts._

-

Friday, for Harry, can't come soon enough.

He dreads it in a lot of ways because he knows everything is about to get so much more real as soon as he actually sees their baby for the first time and not some other sonogram from Google images, but he's also so relieved because he doesn't have to pretend for an entire weekend now.

With some miracle, Louis and Zayn haven't found out yet. Harry's going to tell them, he promises himself, but it's just that he hasn't even had time to process everything himself yet and it's already so risky with only Liam knowing that the boy is going to let it slip out, so for now it's nice to just have the four of them in on their secret.

At the same time it's hard to keep something so massive from them, because all of a sudden they aren't able to come over after school every day and he can't stick around for a game of footie in the park and it's so sudden and he knows it must make him seem like a right loon but he just can't have them knowing yet.

Harry's glad kids their age are so self absorbed, because luckily no one questions when Niall is suddenly walking into school the same time as Harry and Liam and getting lifts home from Anne even though they haven't properly spoken in months. So as he trudges his way to his Mum's car and spots Niall already in the back undoubtedly playing a game on his phone, he's grateful he's not glancing over his shoulder trying to make sure no ones spotted them.

It doesn't stop him from doing it once, peeking behind him only to see the usual few kids waiting for their late bus home or parents. Still, he can't relax as much as he normally does, not today.

"Hello love," Anne greets him with a smile despite knowing Harry would rather do pretty much anything but go where they're going today, something that both comforts and annoys him.

Harry looks to his right where Niall is sat leaning his weight against the closed door, ear buds in. He gives Harry a small nod but not much more, letting his eyes fall shut before Harry can even attempt to make conversation. (Not that he would have anyway. But.)

The car ride is quiet, the only sound Anne drumming her fingers along the steering wheel and humming under her breath, glancing back at the boys when they hit a red light until finally they get there.

For the life of him, Harry can't understand why this scares him so much. It's not as if this appointment is really going to change anything, Niall will still be pregnant and the baby will still be his and they'll still have to hide it for the time being. Yet the idea of actually seeing a little shape on a screen and knowing he helped make it is really terrifying.

They walk inside, Anne forcing Niall to take out his ear buds and finally he agrees, stuffing them into his pocket with a sigh and following Anne to the front desk. He apparently has to fill out paperwork over insurance and things Harry really hadn't thought either of them would have to be thinking of for at least two more years until they were legally supposed to be taking care of it on their own anyway.

He can feel eyes on them even if it's no one that actually know who they are since this is a clinic about half an hour from home, but he knows what they're thinking. They're all thinking about how irresponsible they must be, having sex and not thinking of the possibility of children. How disgusting they both have to be to have been doing things so young and not saving themselves for the right person.   
  
Luckily, before he has the opportunity to lash out on all of them and let them know they're people too, Niall finishes up the last piece of paperwork and a nurse with kind eyes and a gentle smile is guiding them back to the room.

"You'll have to take your top off, Sir." The woman explains, sitting down in the spinney chair near the computer in the room, starting to type something up. "I'm going to just do a bit of the erm, vitals, if you will. Then the doctor will come in and do the actual sonogram."

Harry's only half listening if he's honestly, trying to text Liam on his phone without his Mum catching him. Of course Anne sees though, Harry letting out a small huff when she gives him a subtle glare and holds her hand out for his phone. He hands it over though, because he knows what he's put her through this past week and what he's going to continue putting her through is nothing compared to him temporarily losing his phone.

He looks up and sees the nurse pressing her hands down onto his stomach, feeling around with pursed lips until finally she lets out a small, "Ahh.." pressing down onto a spot that makes Niall cringe.

"You're hurting him." Harry blurts, looking at her as if she had gone insane. He felt like she had, really, because it seemed like common sense that if you were putting a pregnant person through pain you probably shouldn't be poking around in that spot.

"It's alright," The nurse assures him, "I'm not pressing hard enough to do damage to the baby or to really hurt him. He's feeling pain because that's where your baby is, and we look for sensitivity in that area because, well, that's what your body needs to be feeling." 

Harry nods slowly then, cheeks going slightly red, "Right uh- sorry." He ignored the look both Anne and Niall were giving him, reaching over to the small side table and grabbing one fo the brochures up off it. 

He's embarrassed now, feels like a little kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar but he just doesn't know why. It's his kid, he's allowed to feel protective over it if he wants to and upset over it at different times. At least he thinks he can.

The nurse offers them both a smile now, taking off her gloves and squirting some hand-sanitizer onto her hands, "Everything from my examination is looking good." She informed, going back to typing into the computer. "The doctor will be able to confirm that better, though, he'll be in any minute." She got up and went out after that, bidding them goodbye with one final wave.

Only a few minutes pass before the doctor finally does come in, offering the three of them a smile as he gets some things down from one of the cabinets. Harry hears him introduce himself, vaguely, but he doesn't quite grasp what he's said, too focused on all of the machines and devices.

"This is going to be cold," The doctor warns Niall, squirting some sort of gel onto his stomach/ He lets out a deep chuckle when Niall doesn't so much as flinch, raising a brow, "Tough guy then, eh?"

"It feels like summer, when you put on sun screen but it's really cold." Niall shrugs, bringing his right hand up to nibble away at his nails. It looks like a mindless habit to someone like the doctor, but Harry knows better, knows that's a sign hes getting anxious over this and he doesn't blame him.

It takes a few more minutes of the doctor maneuvering the wand until finally he grins proudly, holding it in place and turning the screen for the three to see. "There's your baby."

Harry's breath hitches, looking at the screen in pure shock. That little blob is his kid. He's a fucking dad already, even if their little boy or girl hasn't been born yet. It's weird, it's so weird looking and watching the doctor point out the head and where his legs are starting to develop, and knowing that thing could come out with a mess of curly brown hair and green eyes like his own.

He looks to Niall but the boy isn't looking at the screen now, he's looking down at his stomach instead, Harry making a mental note to ask him about that later. None of them speak, Anne only giving Harry's hand a comforting squeeze every once and a while, the doctor printing out a few screen shots for the boys.

"Now, you're eight weeks along, Mr. Horan, so this is when we start to listen to the baby's heartbeat, make sure it's good and there's nothing wrong." The doctor presses something, and all of a sudden there a swooshing sound filling the room, steady and strong.

"That's- That's our baby's heartbeat?" Harry breathed out, looking at the doctor and then back to the screen. This is all so much, seeing his baby and hearing it's heart beat yet still feeling so torn.

"They've got a good one, don't hear a heart murmur or anything concerning, so I'd say you've got a healthy baby so far." The doctor nodded, "Just try and eat healthy foods, continue on with the vitamins, and try and not stress a whole lot. I imagine that's extremely hard considering your situation right now, but just do your best. I'll see you all in three weeks for your next appointment." He smiled at all three of them and handed Anne over the print outs before walking out.

Niall took the paper towel roll off of the doctor's desk and wiped his stomach off, finally looking over to Anne and Harry once he'd pulled his shirt down. "I didn't know it had a heart beat yet." He said after a minute, but it was clear it was just to say something. "Did you?"

"No," Harry decided to indulge him, because Niall had been good to him when he had broken down the first day he'd been told. Actually, the blonde had been fairly good to him through out this whole process which was, honestly, more than Harry knew he deserved. "I didn't either. But it was pretty cool, right?"

Niall started to grin at that, and Harry felt so much pride in himself knowing he had been the one to put that there, that he had done that for him. So he continued, hoping to keep that grin there for as long as possible, "Kinda like one of this techno rap beats, right?"

"Nah mate," Niall snorted, shaking his head, "M'not letting out baby listen to that kind of stuff so they better not have that beat. I was thinking more along the lines of classic rock, The Eagles and shit."

"Oi, mind your mouth." Harry nudged him lightly as Anne guided them out, thinking for a minute. "I don't know about classic rock either. Maybe we'll let them listen to top ten hits so that when they're our age they'll like our kind of music."

They banter over their baby's music choice the entire ride home like it's normal.

-

All good things must come to an end, and Harry realises that the following day when the other lads show up on his door step at two in the afternoon.

Niall had slept over the night before, his dad too oblivious to know that a sleepover at Harry's house was a weird thing and not just normal anymore, and it made things easier. Harry didn't have to get up extra early to assure him and Liam would have enough time to make it across town on foot, and Niall didn't have to choke down all the vitamins in a rush.

However, he hadn't anticipated the other boys to just pop up, demanding answers and claiming Liam refused to tell them anything. 

Niall's right behind him at the time, which is the worst part, because he can't even make up some lie. They have to find out now or he'll lose two of his best mates and he can't let that happen.

So he tells them, plain and simple.

"I got Niall pregnant, and uh- yeah. Niall's dad doesn't know, only him and Liam and my Mum do." He doesn't exactly know how he says it, he tries to be calm and cool but he knows there's a tremor to his voice anyway.

Louis looks at Niall, expecting this to be some joke like when they'd all been the best of friends and had their prank wars and nerf gun fights, but there's this look in the other boys eyes that lets him know this isn't some stunt. This is real.

He glances to Zayn and gives a nod and Zayn returns it, both of them hugging Harry first and then, after a slight hesitation, Niall too. It's almost like there hasn't been a large gap of absence where they didn't do things like this.

They go inside and Anne doesn't question them, brings them snacks and waters ("Because soda is bad for the baby." She had told Harry when there were protests from him and the other lads, "And if he can't be having it, it's not fair you do either since you're both responsible." Harry took the next set of snacks without complaint.) and they gathered on the couch in the basement playing FIFA like they used to.

Harry knows this is only the start, but he already feels like he's had enough. It's hard enough having this small handful of people knowing, he doesn't know what he's going to do when everyone in town knows, when everyone he meets sees the baby in his arms and either brushes it off as his brother or sister or gives him the same expression the people at the doctors today had given him assuming he's the dad.

Though when he thinks of those looks, all he can hear is the steady swooshing of his baby's heartbeat, and he's not so sure if it's a good thing or not.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was confused, the italics was a flashback of sorts to give a little insight on Harry and Niall and what exactly happened before. I think I'll include a more of these throughout the story to show their "relationship" and what it was and how it got to what it is now. Again, thank you for all the great feedback, hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> [PS. I am not a doctor, so if there are a few minor inaccuracies as to what goes in on the appointments and just certain pregnancy things I apologize! Google can only teach you so much, and this is fiction anyway :)]


	4. Chapter 4

_Harry's thirteen years old when he figures out his sexuality._

_It's actually his birthday when it happens, and for his special day he's decided he wants to go to the movies and see his first ever PG-13 movie because he'd never been allowed in before, his mother claiming he was still too young. Now he was 13 though, and his mother had deemed him old enough._

_The movie is some comedy Harry can't remember the name of, the previews looked decent and that was enough to reel him in, honestly just looking forward to seeing what the big step between the PG and PG-13 movies would be._

_He's just gone with his parents because he's having a party later that night that all of his friends are coming to anyway, but it's still just as exciting to him._

_When he first notices the one couple on the screen, to men holding hands and whispering with little smiles he figures maybe they're best friends. Like him and Niall. He's not totally oblivious, of course he's seen partners together like that, but this feels.. different, for some reason._

_Then the screen zooms in on them as they kiss, which turns into a longer kiss and Harry feels stunned into his seat. His hand stops mid-way where it's piled up with a big handful of popcorn he was ready to dump into his mouth, because this is a whole new feeling._

_He's never seen two men kiss like that, he's seen pecks shared between male couples in the mall and in a few other places too, but those two men on the screen making out now are making something deep inside him brew._

_Of course, the scene changes too quickly for Harry to figure out what it means, and he's zoned out for the rest of the movie trying to figure it out._

_Later, toward the end, there's a light sex scene with everything hidden beneath the covers between a man and a woman, and Harry expects to get that same feeling again. Except he doesn't._

_He forgets about it during his party, talking and joking about with his friends like nothing is different, but when it's all over and he's laying in bed that night, he can't help but think about it again. Think about it and remember how he'd felt seeing two types of couples kissing, and even a few years back how he'd felt kissing that girl and then Niall._

_It's late now, but he figures since it's already long past the time he would normally find himself asleep it won't hurt to do a little research. So he does._

_He starts by looking up 'How do I know if I like boys?' and from there his searches progress until he's clicked about two dozen links to websites and seems to have confirmed that, yeah, he likes boys._

_Everything starts to make sense, from the kissing to why he's never found boobs appealing compared to the boys in his grade and how he's always appreciated a topless male more than a girl in a bikini. Subtle things he had never bothered to spend to much time worrying over all fell into place._

_Obviously, he tells Niall first._

_It's the next day and they're walking home from school when he says in a soft voice, "I like boys. I'm gay." Which is.. that._

_Niall gives him a look almost as if he expects Harry to be joking him, but when he sees the serious look on his friends face he turns serious himself, giving a nod, "Alright."_

_"Alright?" Harry's brow furrowed, because while he didn't want a bad reaction he had expected a bit more of a reaction overall anyway._

_"Alright," Niall said again with a nod, "I mean, you're still Harry, yeah? There's not much to not be alright with." He pauses for a moment, before glancing over to him again, "How did you uh- How did you know?"_

_Harry explains everything he'd learned from the websites, he explains the kissing differences in how they make him feel, everything. It's nice to have a friend like Niall, to feel alright talking to him and saying anything without judgment._

_"Alright," Niall says once again when Harry is finished, "I- Will you help me now? Cause- I helped you when you didn't like your first kiss." He says quietly, pressing his lips together, "Will you kiss me?"_

_"Kiss you?" Harry repeats, almost wondering if he'd heard his best friend wrong. "You want me to kiss you? Again? Why?"_

_Niall lets out a sigh, wringing his hands together nervously, "Because I really liked that kiss better than the one I had with Holly the other day." He says it quickly, "And you said all those things and.. I'm curious, because I-"_

_Harry cuts him off with a kiss, a soft one but longer than their first. He doesn't want to be gross and put his tongue in Niall's mouth like they had in the movie, but he parts his lips more this time which seems to catch Niall off guard but doesn't stop him._

_"So?" Harry asks once they've pulled back, offering Niall a small smile, "You think you like boys?'_

_Niall brings one hand up to his mouth, fingertips brushing over his bottom lip, "No," He says, eyes locked on Harry, "I don't think I like boys. I know I like boys."_

_That's how it continues._

_-_

Niall stays over at Harrys again Saturday night along with the other lads, but he decides Sunday afternoon he's got to head home. There's no real protest, Anne just warns him that he'd better be there in the morning and he hugs her and thanks her for letting him stay.

And then he goes home, and after a few days it's weird to be alone. His dad works from early until late so it's not abnormal, but it feels off when he's so used to constantly having Anne or Harry to chat to.

He doesn't dwell on it too much, tells himself it's better this way because he doesn't have to answer questions (because questions would lead to lies and Niall's never been a good liar) but it's still so.. Lonely.

"I'm not alone though," He says to himself, rummaging through the fridge for something salvageable he can make for a dinner. Since he's alone, he places a hand on his stomach while he stands up, giving up on actual finding things he can make his own dinner out of and grabbing his phone to order pizza. "I've got you, eh?" He speaks softly to the bit of pudge hidden beneath his shirt, giving a soft pat.

Thirty minutes later he's working on finishing off his third slice, sprawled out across the couch and still rubbing his stomach. He tells himself it's just because he's bored, but deep down he knows it has more to do with the same reason he finds himself reaching into pocket just to brush over the ultrasound picture. He doesn't dwell on that though.

The night is boring really, and finally he clicks the tv off when infomercials start to play and kicks his clothes into the dirty wash so Bobby can deal with it when he gets home and goes into his room for the night.

As he tugs the covers up past his chest he hears the front door open and close quietly but he doesn't bother to get up and go see him just to get a tired nod and grunt. It's not worth the energy or the risk of him blab bing something out unnecessarily.

He shuts his eyes and it's only when he starts to shut his eyes and drift off to sleep does he hear the sound of loud footsteps stomping up the steps. Before he can properly react to that his bedroom door is being slammed open and his light is flicked on revealing a fuming Bobby Horan.

For as long as Niall can remember, he's only seen his dad mad when it's serious. He got mad when his mam had accused him of cheating, and he'd gotten mad when Niall had been messing around and broke a window, but other than that he's always been calm. When Niall failed Geography in fifth grade and had to repeat the class he'd onky sat him down and told him he knew he could do better this time, he just had to apply himself.

Niall just can't figure out what's got him worked up now. He spots something in his hand and then he notices his joggers clutched in his other and-

Oh fuck. The sonogram the pictures.

He pales a few shades at the realization and his dad seems to notice when it only has him tensing up even more.

"Niall, would you care to tell me what this is?" The man seeths, stepping forward until he's close enough to drop the slightly crumbled sonogram down into Niall's lap.

Niall swallows hard, unsure of what to say. He's a horrific liar, and his Da is so mad but he's sure he'd only be more mad if he found out a few months after and knew Niall had lied to him. It's just that it's so soon right now, and he'd banked on at least a few more months of just having this little secret before it got spilled.

But it's now and Bobby is standing their practically shaking with anger, so Niall tells him, "It's- It's my sonogram." He mumbles, not daring to move his gaze from the photo.

"Your sonogram?" Bobby repeats, sounding no less calm. "You know sonograms are for pregnancy, Niall. So who's pregnant? Did you get someone pregnant, or are- Niall, are you pregnant?"

"I'm pregnant, Da." Niall confirms quietly, and he can't help but think of how many times he's heard that line. He's seen it once or twice in reastaraunts when other couples were telling their family of pregnancy, and he's heard it in movies and all. But it's always sounded so much more pleasant and it's followed by the dad pulling them into a tight hug and tearfully gushing over how excited they are to be a grandparent.

Bobby isn't going to do that and Niall doesn't expect him to, he just wishes he'd reacted more like Anne. But then again, Anne could relate to them better than Bobby could. Anne had been a mum young too, she understood the struggles but Bobby hadn't had a baby until he was married to Maura and nearing his late thirties, he would never be able to understand it like Anne did.

"You're sixteen Niall!" He exclaims, as if Niall has somehow managed to forget his age. "You're sixteen years old, and you're telling me you got pregnant?" He pauses for a moment, shaking his head, "Who's the dad?" He says it more as a demand than a question, and Niall feels sick.

"Harry- Harry it's- Harry's the dad." He says meekly, mentally saying a sorry to Harry for selling him out so easy. Not that he's really selling him out, he is the dad and people are going to know eventually but it's just not the time to be thinking about that.

Bobby makes a noise that almost sounds like a growl but also like he's choking, finally grabbing Niall's coat up off the spinny chair and flinging it onto the bottom half of his bed.

"Da?" Niall tried, taking the jacket slowly and sliding it on without question, "Da what's- are you-" he doesn't know what to say, what questions to actually voice. Is he getting kicked out? Is he getting dropped at the hospital so his dad can have solid proof or something.

Bobby doesn't reply but his actions are all still furious, and when he walks out to the car Niall follows without question.

The car ride is silent and Niall wishes Bobby were the screaming type because anything would be better than the silence.

-

Harry's. They're at Harry's. They're at Harry's and it's nearly one in the morning and Niall is mad at his dad but even more mad at himself for not being more careful.

His dad gets out and Niall can't get past the mortification as he goes up the door and starts to pound on it, Niall scrambling out then because his dad is making a scene and the last thing he wants is the neighbors knowing too.

"Da!" He yells, shutting the door and rushing up behind him but his cry is ignored, Bobby continuing to pound until a slightly disheveled Anne opens the door.

She stands there in her robe and slippers for a moment, taking in the sight in front of her before her lips press together in realization. "Bobby," She greets, voice calm and a slightly strained smile coming onto her face, "Why don't you come in?"

He does go in, and Niall follows only then noticing Harry lingering back near the steps. Bobby glares at Harry and it makes the boy swallow hard, Anne ushering them all into the living room.

"I'm about to do the washing after a long day of work and as I'm checking his pockets I find a sonogram picture!" Bobby snaps to Anne, still glaring at Harry and Niall who have sat beside each other on the couch with Anne on the other side of Harry.

"I know he's pregnant," Anne admits, "I've known for a few days now Bobby, and I think you need to calm down a bit. He's pregnant, but what is yelling and screaming going to do?"

"What's it going to do?" Even after her words he's still yelling, Niall wincing every time he opens his mouth. "It's going to teach him a lesson! Show them this is wrong! Because it is! They're sixteen years old in case you've forgotten!"

Anne steadies him with a look of her own, bordering a glare but more on the firm side, "Of course I know how old they are, but I also know we can't change this! It happened-"

"They have options for kids their age though." Bobby deadpans with a grunt, shaking his head a bit.

"I know that too, Bobby. But those options are costly, and neither of the boys want to give this baby up for adoption or go through with abortion. You can't just force them to do whatever you want them to, it's their baby in the end." Anne pointed out, leaning back against the couch with a sigh.

Niall doesn't bother to point out that he had already considered abortion, because it seemed pointless. Not because he wouldn't be able to go through with it now, but because he didn't even know if he would want to at this point. He'd actually gotten to hear what their baby's little heartbeat sounded like, constant rhythm, and he would back out if he found himself at the clinic to terminate the pregnancy just thinking of it.

"Well, he's not staying with me." Bobby said gruffly, "Not when he acts like this, like he's some entitled child that can just turn against all of my morals. He isn't, and he won't be."

"Da!" Niall cried, shooting up from his spot on the couch, "That's not fair and you know it! You can't just kick me out! You can't do that, you don't get to do that!"

"You'll be staying with your granny in the country once I arrange everything with her. I can do this, and I am doing this Niall, because maybe this is just what you need to teach yourself a lesson about responsibility." 

Niall falls silent again, but he's mad. He's so mad and upset and just flat out hurt because his dad wasn't willing to support him. He'd thought his dad would have been angry, yes, and that he'd have been dissapointed too like Anne, but he never would have thought the man would go this far with everything.

"Bobby, no, I won't allow you to send him off that far." Anne cuts in, Niall looking to her with the smallest bit of a hopeful look on his face, "Both the boys are responsible for this, not just either or, and it wouldn't be fair to have Niall going through this by himself while Harry's here going about like normal."

Bobby gives her another glare, "He's not staying with me, not when-"

"I know," Anne cut him off, "I know. Which is why I'm suggesting he stay here, so that both of them can go through this together. He won't be staying with you, but he'll still be able to attend this school and have Harry involved with everything." When the man doesn't protest, she prompts him a little to get a confirmed yes, "So?"

The man remains silent for a while, before finally just grunting again, "I don't care. Clearly the boy is old enough to have a kid, or to think he can anyway, and to blatantly go against everything I've taught him since he was a boy. He's old enough to make his own decision here. I don't care where he is, so long as he's out of my house."

Niall doesn't know what to think over that, but he can't help but choke out a sob at the sting of pain that comes along with those words. It hurts a lot, listening to his dad actually say that he doesn't care where Niall is, that he's just that desperate to get Niall away.

He feels Harry's gaze on him but he can't reply, he can't even give a response to the little tingle that lingers on his wrist where Harry tries to reach out and attempt to comfort him. It's a pointless action because Niall's too hysteric for something so small to calm him down, but although he can't show it Niall does appreciate the effort.

Bobby leaves and that's the last time Niall speaks to him for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I'm also on tumblr (sproutnarry is my user I would link it but I can't figure out how haha!) in case you want to check that out. Anyway, thanks for reading, I'd love to know your thoughts :)


	5. Chapter 5

"Whore."

The word is coughed by some random kid in the hallway as Niall steps into the building, and it makes him freeze mid-step. It hurts, makes something pinch inside him but he's still never been the kind of person to let people push him around. He turns on his heel now, giving him a hard look, "What did you just say?"

"He called you a whore," One of the other kids in this group says, lazy smirk playing on his lips. Niall recognizes him from his Biology class, but that doesn't make the urge to smash his face into the locker go away. "Haven't you heard?" He continues, stepping forward now.

"Haven't I heard what?" Niall feels this tiny bit of dread slowly building up to more and more, wondering what this is all about. He hopes it's just some stupid rumor a younger kid started to try and seem cooler.

The kid lets out a snort and all of his friends start to laugh as he waves a hand down to Niall's stomach, "You got knocked up, and you haven't got a clue who the father is. Everyone in fucking school knows."

Niall figures he feels a lot of things in that moment, similar to the way he'd felt when he'd first found out this baby was going to be an actual thing in the first place. He feels ready to be sick, like the air has been knocked out of him, and pure dread for whatever going to happen next.

Only this time, there's a spark of anger there too. Anger because he has to stand here and take this shit while, apparently, no one has a clue Harry's the one that got him pregnant in the first place.

"Fuck you." Niall responds, the words coming out more defeated than he would have liked. Maybe that was the moment he should have flipped out, argued that he wasn't pregnant until his face was blue, but there was no point in that, not when he'd have a bump and eventually be carrying a kid around with him in public.

"So it's true!" The kid cackles and his friends follow in suit, hooting like it's the funniest thing they've ever heard, "You really are a little whore!"

Now there's people staring and most of them are snickering too and it makes Niall's cheeks burn red with the pure humiliation of it. He can't do this, it was a bad idea to even come today after everything with his dad, and it's only when he turns to leave does he notice Harry watching the entire scene go down. He's been there this whole time, and he didn't even bother to say a word, not to defend Niall, not even to defend their child.

Which is why he doesn't feel a single ounce of guilt when he mouth a subtle, "Fuck you too." and stomps out of the school.

He goes back to Harry's house because Anne is at work and he wants to be alone and crawls into bed. He's just so hurt right now, everything getting to be too much anymore. Getting pregnant was an irresponsible thing and he knows that, but he just doesn't know how he deserves to go through all of this while Harry gets a supportive mum, and so many choices in all of this.

He's mad too, white hot angry mad because Harry didn't even stick up for him. He stood there and let him take the hit like he's already been doing through all of this, not even bothering to try and tell the kids to shut up as a friend, never mind that he didn't bother to own up to being the father.

Niall probably should have taken that moment to call Harry out, to tell the world Harry Styles is the father of his child and he knows it for sure, but no matter how horrible he's feeling Niall just isn't that type of person. If Harry doesn't want to tell anyone until it's possible their baby comes out with curly brown hair and green eyes or someone catches them walking out of school together, it's on him.

Anne gets home before Harry, and by the time she does the anger has morphed into hurt and Niall is ready for the day to be over, to just be able to curl up in bed and cry. It's just that he hasn't caught a break and he's so sick of it now, but he pulls himself together as much as he can and trudges downstairs, knowing there would be no point in trying to hide the fact he'd skipped.

"Niall?" Anne's brows raise up when she notices the boy, knowing for a fact she hadn't picked Harry or him up yet. "What are you doing out of school?"

"Kids are- are assholes." Niall says, and it comes out more hoarse than usual, makes it clear he's trying so hard to keep it steady, not to crack. "I got called a whore, they know. I don't even know how they know but they know and-" He suddenly can't continue anymore, the words choking up in his throat because he's just so hurt. He takes a deep breath and continues anyway, the tears staring to fall. "Harry heard them, he heard them and he didn't even stick up for me. Everyone thinks I'm a whore and that I don't know who the father of my own baby is!"

"Niall- Niall-" Anne tries to soothe him, at least calm him down enough to get him to listen but it's futile. The poor boy is in hysterics now, those few tears that had started leading to big, ugly sobs, so she only guides him into the kitchen and sits him at the table and lets him cry into the mug until he's at least quiet again.

"Are you sure they know?" Is the first thing she asks, reaching over to rub his back a bit. "Because I was in high school once too, a lot of the time people just make up rumors to start stuff. You probably know that to by now, eh?" 

Niall lets out a pitiful sniffle, his hands rung around the mug and lip starting to tremble again. Instead of crying again, however, he just focuses on staying calm and not freaking out. "Even if it's just a rumor he- they're all going to know there's truth to it eventually. It's impossible to hide this forever, I'm already- I can already see the weight I'm gaining.

Anne gives a thoughtful nod, and really this is part of the reason Niall loves her so much and always had. She won't bullshit you, and he learned that when him and Harry were trying to start a band when they were seven years old and were screaming instead of singing thinking they were cool. As opposed to clapping and telling them how well they'd done like a normal parent, she told them she'd much rather here them sing in their normal, lovely voices because that just hadn't sounded very nice.

"I guess I'm more hurt Harry just watched." He finally admits, even though he feels somewhat bad about blabbing about him to his Mum like this. Harry did this to himself anyway, he reminds himself, and that guilt quickly diminishes. "I mean.. I didn't expect him to own up to being the father, like 'yeah I knocked him up whatever' but he didn't even tell the guy to shut up or something. It was so humiliating."

"It's alright to be mad and upset about this, Niall. Harry should have defended you and not stood by like that, and we'll talk with him when he gets home." She let out a small sigh, and Niall can just see that twinge of disappointment in her eyes at what happened. "And I just want to make it clear that fi it happens again, kids saying things, no matter what you cannot be skipping school like this, Niall. That's not part of the deal."

"I know, I just didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to just sit there and take all that shit today." He doesn't mean to, but on their own account his eyes begin to fill up again.

"Well, if it happens again or something like it happens go to the guidance office. I'm going to have to tell them about everything, Niall, or you are because the nurse needs to know what to do if you come to her with stomach cramps or if you fall in the halls or something. Everyone needs to be aware, at least the staff." She explains, taking a long drink of her own tea.

"I'm just- I don't know how I'm going to do this," With that he's crying again, "It's so hard. It's so hard."

Anne only pulls him in close and rubs his back a little while he cries, feeling her own heart breaking for the boy as she does. "It's going to be okay," She promises, "It's hard, but one day it'll be worth it." She doesn't dare add the 'hopefully' that nearly slips out.

-

"Did you hear?"

Harry's gaze snaps up from where it's been settled on his half-eaten sandwich for about a quarter of his lunch period, clearing his throat a little. He's sure he more than likely knows what he's being asked about, but he decides to play dumb instead, "Did I hear what?"

"People found out about Niall." Louis offers, biting his lip after he says it as if Harry is going to flip the table or something. "Not you though, that I've heard of anyway. But apparently some kid said something to him in the halls this morning."

"Most of school knows now," Zayn continues, not mocking but more concerned, "And he wasn't in class this morning either. I would have thought he'd texted you or something by now."

"Well, he hasn't." Harry says, the first honest thing from him so far. He pauses a moment, before adding, "Did one of you guys tell?"

"No way, mate." It's Liam this time, giving him a look like he's insulted him or something, "We wouldn't to that to him, either of you for that matter. It's not cool."

When he says 'either' Harry can't help but feel this burst of paranoia like someone has heard it and is going to spread it around school like a wild fire, swallowing hard as he does. He thinks he sees a kid looking at them now, but he is sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and Harry knows he couldn't have possibly heard over the roar of the other conversations in the room too.

"I heard someone say his dad was screaming it into his phone in their front yard, that one of the neighbors asked their kid about it or something and that's how it started." Louis supplies, giving a half shrug as he takes another bite of the left over pasta he'd stuffed into his lunch bag that morning.

"That would make sense," Harry mulls over it for a minute, "His dad uh- His dad kicked him out last night, he's staying with me and my Mum for a while now. I don't know how long, my Mum kind of just told him and me."

Zayn lets out a low whistle a that, eyebrows raised up, "Really? That's rough."

"Yeah," Harry sighs, finally just deciding he wasn't going to be able to choke down another bite of sandwich, crumbling it up in the foil and pushing it back down into the brown paper bag his Mum had packed it in. "He took it pretty good I guess." He shrugs, thinking of how Niall hadn't even looked too much different at breakfast that morning. Harry probably would have been a mess.

"What's pretty good though? He can't have been, like, happy about it or whatever." Liam points out, giving Harry a bit of a pointed look, "Did you at least try and pry a little?"

"We were all tired, it was really late and my Mum was still making us come to school today. She did make us come to school today actually, although I was hoping she'd cave and let us stay home." Harry tries to defend himself, though he nearly winces at how pitiful of an excuse that really is.

Liam gives him a look at that and Zayn and Louis do too, and Harry's starting to realize that maybe, he's not doing everything exactly right just yet.

-

He can just sense that his Mum knows something's up when he walks through the front door.

It's quiet, a bit too quiet with no loud television program on or pots banging as she puts the dishes away, and this only had ever happened when Harrys either failed exams or had teachers call home for other reasons.

"Mum?" He calls softly, lowering his backpack onto the floor and kicking his shoes off. With no reply from anyone he continues down the hallway until finally he reaches the kitchen where Niall is sat with Anne.

He can tell there's maybe something bigger going on, the way Niall won't even spare a glance to his feet and Anne is just staring at him with this firm expression is a pretty dead giveaway.

"Um." Is all he can say, swallowing down a 'what's going on?' because at this point he's not really sure he wants to know. Not when he's almost certain he's walking into a big mess, it's better to just wait for one of them to make the first move.

"We all need to talk," Anne doesn't leave any room for question when she says it, so Harry just wordlessly takes a seat in front of her, noting how she hasn't even made him a cup of tea. Also a bad sign. 

"Niall skipped, and that was wrong, and I've discussed that with him." She begins, making it clear that despite all of this she hasn't let up on her strict rules. "But," She continues, "I'm disappointed in how you reacted to all of this Harry. Niall told me."

Harry swallows hard at that, just that one simple word enough to make him feel bad in an instant. He doesn't know what exactly he's meant to feel bad for, it's not as if he was the one that blabbed it to school and spread the rumor, let alone made it clear Niall didn't know the father of the kid. 

He decides to tell them as much, "Why?" He blurts, shaking his head a tad, "I mean- I mean I didn't start the rumor. I didn't do anything wrong. It's not my fault people found out, Louis said its because of his Da."

"So you know about the rumor," Anne purses her lips, still giving him that same look, "And my guess is Niall wasn't lying about you hearing what those boys said to him too. You understand you're in the wrong, but you don't want to admit it. Is that right?"

It's pretty spot on, but Harry's certainly not going to let her knows that, "What did they call him?" He asks dumbly, and finally Niall snaps.

"You know! You fucking know what they called me you ass!" The words come out in a growl, a voice so not Niall-like it almost sends a chill down his spine. "You know about the rumor, you know about all of it, but you didn't say shit!"

He shouldn't cave in to that boiling anger inside him. He shouldn't scream back. But, against his better judgement, he does.

"Why would I?!" Wrong response, "I didn't do this! I didn't spread the rumor or tell them to call you a bloody whore! I don't control other people or what they think!"

Niall snorts out a bitter laugh at that, and it nearly makes Harry shrink down into nothing. Nearly. "You're not bloody innocent in this and you know it! You're talking shit!"

"I'm talking shit? Really? That's rich coming from you Niall! I've said it countless times now, I can't help if they think you're a whore and that's what they call you! I can't shut down a rumor! This all is not my fault!" Harry's screaming now, and all of a sudden there's just this horrible silence.

"Boys-" Anne begins, but before she can actually get a proper word in Niall's pushed his chair out, standing up.

"You could have told him I wasn't a whore. You could have stuck up for me. You used to be my best friend you know, and now I don't even know who you are, Harry." He says it so eerily calm Harry just knows he's too mad to even shout.

Niall leaves after that, goes upstairs and leaves Harry sat there dumbly with his Mum, and he already knows she's going to give him a lecture.

"I'm disappointed in you," She says again, "Not only for what happened at school, but for how you've reacted now too. If someone would have called you that, accused you of things, don't you think you would have expected a friend to stand up for you?"

Harry can't bring himself to say anything, staring at Nialls abandoned cup of tea instead.

Anne sighs at that, gives a small shake of her head, "You would have, anyone would have. And I bet you'd feel upset if someone went around telling everyone you got someone pregnant, but they didn't know it was Niall who was carrying it?"

Once again, Harry stays silent. He knows he's wrong, he just doesn't know if he can find it in him to swallow down his rpide and own it just yet. Anne knows this too, which explains why she stands up and grabs both hers and Niall's mugs, putting them in the sink.

"You need to think about your priorities Harry, because they've changed by default. You're going to be a dad now, which means that baby and Niall need to come first for you, no questions asked." She says, leaving no too, for questions. She's not asking him if he wants them to change, if he wants to make this baby his life, because it has to be now, no questions asked.

She gives him one final look before walking out of the room altogether leaving Harry torn as to what he should do, just like he always is anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for all the great feedback too, I always look forward to it and appreciate it :)


	6. Chapter 6

_Two months after they re-do Harry's first kiss, Harry learns Niall is the type to hold a grudge._

_Liam, Louis, and Zayn have come over for a sleepover and Niall's there too of course, when Liam brings up playing Truth or Dare is apparently what you have to do at sleepovers._

_They all agree of course, bored and sure that it's definitely the coolest thing to do, so they start with dumb dares. Louis has to dump the popcorn bowl on his head and Zayn has to let Louis draw a dick on his leg, when finally Niall chickens out and picks truth._

_"Have you ever kissed someone?" Louis asked, letting out a small laugh at the blush that quickly appeared on the blondes face, "And you've gotta say who if you have."_

_"Uh-" Niall paused for a moment, eyes darting over to Harry for a moment before he focused his gaze back to Louis again. "I- I have," He admitted finally, fiddling with his fingers from where they've been settled in his lap. "I kissed Harry."_

_Louis' brows raised up at that as did the other lads, looking over to Harry questioningly, "You like blokes?" He asked in surprise, "What about that bird though, I thought she was your girlfriend?"_

_Harry freezes up at the sudden attention, clearing his throat a little. He hasn't exactly "come out" yet, but it's not as if he had made the official choice to hide his sexuality away. No one had asked, and honestly he has just been a little more focused on figuring out what he was feeling himself._

_So with this spur of the moment fear finally spilling over, he barked out a laugh and gave Niall a look as if the boy had grown another head, "I don't know what you're on about, mate," he snorted, and then after another minute added, "Don't know if you got into something in Greg's drawers, but.."_

_Niall's jaw set firmly as the other boys laughed too, and Harry knows he crossed the line. His brother is a subject they all know better than to discuss properly, and he can see from the fire in his eyes he's beyond pissed he brought it up anyway._

_"You're a liar," he seethed, standing up with his hands clenched firmly at his sides, balled up into fists. "You're lying, Harry! You kissed me two months ago after you didn't like how your first kiss went!"_

_"Niall," Harry said slowly, shaking his head a little, "I don't know what you're talking about, the jokes up. Just- Just sit down and let it go, yeah? There's no shame in not having kissed someone before."_

_"But I did!" Niall spewed, raising his arms up effect, "I kissed you! I kissed you, and you know it, you're just acting like you haven't got a clue but you do!_

_"Why would I do that?" Harry challenged, and by now the other boys have stopped laughing, realizing this goes a little deeper than some joke._

_"Because you're- You-" Niall let out a frustrated sigh, not even knowing how to respond to that. He finally just stomped over to where his jacket was still draped over the back of the couch, going upstairs and leaving._

_He doesn't talk to Harry for three full weeks after that, and the days that fill them drag on with the other lads torn between both of them and Harry missing his best friend._

_They've never done this before, is the thing. They've had small fights over honestly pointless things, but nothing more than that in all the time they've known each other which is what makes this so scary. Harry's never seen that glare Niall's been giving him in the hallways before, he's only ever seen Niall with a bright smile and sparkly eyes and just acting like the total essence of happiness he is and so he cracks._

_He goes into his homeroom and stands up on his chair and announces to the entire class he fancies boys with Niall watchng from the table over, and then he sits down and tells Liam and Zayn that he had in fact kissed Niall and he found the other to be a very good kisser, and when he looks over to Niall the boy gives him a nod that has Harry beaming._

_"I'm sorry," Harry says when they walk back together after school, the first time they've been alone together since that night. "I shouldn't have lied, I guess I was just nervous? Of like- what they would think, you know?"_

_Niall's quiet for a while before finally he reaches over and takes Harry's hand, giving it a small squeeze and letting their arms swing in synch as they continue to walk, "You dont have to be nervous," he whispered, "I'll always be here for you, yeah?"_

_That's how it nearly ends, but doesn't._

 

-

 

It's been a really bad day for Harry.

He stepped in dog shit when he was walking to his Mum's car that morning, failed a geography exam earlier in the day, forgot his lunch and had to eat half of Liam's peanut butter sandwich, and now he has to go to a class that he shares with Niall too.

It's been two weeks since word got out that Niall's pregnant, and Harry has learned again that Niall hasn't changed since they were young. He's spoken to Harry at a minimum (and even then it's at home, awkwardly mumbled at the dinner table for salt) and Harry hasnt really been trying to reach out to him too much either. 

He's just slumped himself down into his seat, finally looking up from the notes he'd been scanning just in case of a pop quiz their health teacher had a tendency to give out when he notices the baby dolls laid on every other desk in the classroom.

He nearly felt like crying in frustration at the sight, because of course this would happen to him. The one class he had with Niall, and they were going to be caring for stupid baby dolls for however long the unit lasted. 

Niall walked in just before the bell rang, and much like he always did Harry couldn't help but stiffen up in his seat. He was bigger now, stomach clearly rounded out in the t-shirt he was wearing, and Harry felt nauseous thinking about how that only meant Niall was getting further along into the pregnancy and that before long they'd have an actual kid and he wouldn't be able to avoid this anymore.

He can hear the snickers of fellow students when they spot the swell of stomach Niall is sporting for themselves, but instead of sticking up for him like he knows he should, he finds himself slumping lower into his seat like the coward he knows that he is.

Their health teacher goes into instructions about caring for the baby and the things they'll need to do, but Harry mostly zones out for it. Anne has been teaching them all the basics, and truthfully he just gets a surge of guilt looking at the teacher trying to glance at Niall discretely throughout the lesson, as if to prove some sort of point.

For his part Niall remains indifferent, scribbling down occasional notes on the important things said and otherwise focused in on the baby doll laid on the table in front of him. Harry doesn't understand how he can be, how his skin doesn't crawl when he looks at the mound of plastic and realize that in a few more months there's going to be an actual baby with real cries and real needs.

He's pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the teacher call his name, and for a moment he tenses up. Luck hasn't been on his side at all lately, so he doesn't see why this should be any different. He's going to be paired up with Niall, and someones going to put the pieces together. 

That doesn't happen, much to Harry's surprise.

He winds up paired up with some random girl he's seen in the halls a few times but never paid much mind to, and he doesn't care. He's not with Niall, his secrets safe for now.

Admitedly, he continues to listen as the teacher pairs Niall up with Liam, who for his part shoots Niall a big grin and a thumbs up. Harry could see the pity in the teachers eyes, though he couldnt quite place whether it was for Liam for getting paired up with Niall, or Niall for needing this class more than anyone right now.

If he weren't such a coward, he'd have called him out on it. But he's not, so he doesn't. He only slumps down in his seat, and stares down at his papers.

 

-

 

"Niall's actually pretty good with the baby," Liam told them at lunch that day, thinking back on the class. "It started to scream and he wasnt even phased, he just... did it. Like it was instinct to him or something."

Harry rolled his eyes at that, "Liam, it's a plastic doll. There's only three things that could be wrong with it. I'm pretty sure everyone can handle it." Not everyone, he hadn't even found it in himself to pick the thing up.

 Liam stared at him for a moment now, brow furrowed with something like disappointment. It looked like he was going to say something, but eventually he just shakes his head a bit and turns to Zayn who's asking for the notes from chemistry.

Harry takes that time when the other lads are caught up in conversation to scan the cafeteria, eyes finally settling on the blonde. He cringes just the slightest bit at the way the tray is resting on the swell of his bump, nearly making a comment but he doesn't have time. The other guys are waving him over.

"What are you doing?" Harry hissed, frantically looking around to make sure no one was watching. A few people had turned to stare, but that was mainly because of his own little outburst. 

"He's our friend, Harry." Louis spoke slowly, frowning with a similar expression to Liams now. "Maybe you arent getting along with him right now, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us can't talk to him." 

Harry only grunted a little, keeping his gaze down as he heard Niall and the others exchange greetings. He managed to stay occupied until his entire lunch was finished off, but there were still 20 minutes left of the actual block.

"You draw them in," Harry didn't mean to say it, or the words to follow, but he did. He meant them, but if he'd really thought about what he was going to say he wouldn't have ever had it in him to say it out loud. "The ones that make fun of you and all? You attract them, Niall. You wear tight shirts and you use your little bump like its a bloody table and-" 

"Harry." It's not Niall, it comes from Zayn of all people. Zayn who despises any form of conflict and confrontation is giving him a warning.

"I'm just saying." Harry said with a slight shrug, glancing to Niall again.

"I attract them?" Niall repeated slowly, keeping his voice quiet anyway. "That means shit coming from you, Harry, because you don't even have to deal with it all." He moved the tray off his lap, gesturing down to his stomach,

"This? This is happening. There's gonna be a bloody baby here in a couple of months, and at least Im real about it. At least I acknowledge it and don't hide from it, because its the truth! If none of these kids can handle seeing me with a little extra belly, imagine what they'll think when I'm walking around with a fucking stroller in town."

"You don't have to do that stuff though," Harry said quickly, feeling more than frantic now. He didn't know Niall had planned on being so open with this baby, and all he could imagine was a little boy or girl with brunette curls and bright green eyes giving away his dirty little secret. "You don't, Ni." 

"I don't?" Niall said with a small snort, "Harry, that's just living my daily life. That's what I'm gonna have to do, only with a baby. I'm not gonna be able to go to sleepovers or parties or anything like that, but I am gonna have to go shopping in town. It's adapting to what is going to be my life when this baby is born."

Harry let out a breath at that, knowing Niall was right, but just not wanting to admit it. "You dont have to be so obvious about it, Niall, like I said. Youre setting yourself up for comments, and judgment. Maybe if you were subtle, they wouldn't.. They'd be more understanding."

"I'm not setting myself up for anything, Harry." Niall practically growls the words out, standing up slowly. "I'm just not a bloody coward like some people."

He walks away after that, leaving Harry with three dissapointed looks, and feeling just as torn as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm back! I'm soo sorry for the huge gap.. These past months have been crazy and not in a good way, and I had honestly just forgotten about this story. But I plan on going back to regular updates now, so long as anyone out there still wants them! I know this is shorter, and probably horribly written, but I wanted to get something out now that things have finally begun to calm down! Updates to follow will be longer and hopefully better written :)


	7. Chapter 7

"This is going to be really good for you two." Anne said with a knowing smile as she drove them over to the doctors office. "I think seeing the baby again is really going to help."

"Help who?" Harry muttered bitterly, although seconds later he shot his Mum an apologetic glance for snapping. 

Anne sighed and shook her head, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as they reached a red light. "Both of you, I'm being serious. The baby is going to look a lot less like a blob now, and I think that's going to make it more real for you."

"Some of us just want to live in a stupid fantasy forever." Niall said with a snort, and without even meaning to Harry flinches. "I mean- A baby is going to be born soon enough. I'm pregnant. I don't know how much more real this needs to get."

"Niall..." Anne said, warning clear in her voice, but she isn't rough. She sympathizes with him, but then again, anyone would. 

"Sorry." Niall said after a beat, turning to look out the window. 

The car ride is silent after that, and Harry hates it. Hates how once again, he's left with his own thoughts trying to figure out what the fuck he's meant to be doing and feeling, what's right and what's wrong. 

It's the times like this when it really hits Harry that a baby that part him, maybe with brunette curls or deep dimples or emerald eyes is going to be born. He made a kid. Then, he gets the panic, and that short flash of excitement until it all fades away into raw horror.

They get to the doctors office after about fifteen more minutes, walking inside. It's only then that Harry realize's Niall still has that plastic baby doll- the one his partner has thankfully cared for while he is way too scared to go near it.

"Why'd you bring that?" He can't help but ask, nodding down to the doll. "I mean... Did Liam not want to deal with it while you were gone?"

Niall looks up at him, expression stoic, "I think this baby doll means a lot more to me then it does to Liam. I want to get used to taking it places and doing things a different way."

Harry's eyebrows raised, "You have an emotional attachment to a baby doll?" He's joking, trying to avoid the underlying point Niall was trying to make.

The blonde makes a noise of frustration, shaking his head roughly. "This baby- the real one- it's coming. Why can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?" He seethed, before stomping off to sit beside Anne.

Harry moves to walk over and sit beside him, but then that doll starts to let out its automated wails. Like the coward he is, he just sits down on the other side of the waiting room.

He just doesn't get it, is the thing. He knows that Niall was just as terrified when he told Harry, but all of a sudden he just seems okay with it all. He doesn't seem bothered by the thought of a baby growing inside him, of caring for it for the rest of their lives. 

It must be because he's the Mum, Harry figures. He's the Mum, and there's some instinct inside of Niall that triggers something that just makes him feel better about it. 

He doesn't know that Niall is just better at hiding it.

-

20 minutes later, Harry's sat with his Mum beside the examination table Niall's laying on, watching the doctor move the ultrasound wand around.

Harry's picking at his fingers awkwardly, although he does notice Niall isn't eagerly watching the screen to see the baby. He's staring at the ceiling, something that throws Harry off and makes his brow furrow, before he brushes it off as nothing.

"I'm sorry this is taking a bit, your baby moves around quite a lot." The technician chuckled, "Ah! Finally. Here's your baby."

Harry slowly moves his gaze up to the screen, his eyes widening on their own accord. His Mum had been right with what she'd said in the car, because at three and a half months, that blob was gone.

It was still small, Harry knew, but you could see its head and even the tiny little arms and legs. It looked like an actual baby, and that made his heart pound and his throat tighten.

The doctor, for his part, is grinning ear to ear. "So, I can see the gender, it's actually a fairly easy view. Would you like to know?"

"The- The gender?" Niall finally got out, his own eyes huge. "I thought we wouldn't be able to find that out for a few more months at least."

Anne reached over to take a hold of Niall's hand, and timidly Harry reached for her other. 

The doctor shook his head, fond smile on his face. "Most people assume that, just because you'd think that's when the baby would be more developed. But you can generally tell the sex of the baby between three and four months- more likely closer to four." A pause, "Speaking of, I'd bank on the baby coming a little early. We have your due date for the end of May, but considering how developed it's looking now, it will more than likely arrive toward the middle instead."

Niall gave a weak nod. This was a lot to take in, and whether anyone could see it or not, he was slowly breaking.

"So, the gender? Do you want to know or do you want to let it be a surprise?" The doctor questioned.

"I want to know." Niall said, letting out a slow breath. 

"Alright. Well you can see here this is the head, and here are the arms-" The doctor walks them through all the different parts of their baby, until they reach the most important part.

"- and as you can see, right between the legs are two little mounds. You're having a baby boy, congratulations."

Someone bursts into tears, Harry notices, there's just this one big sob. He looks to Niall and then his Mum, before he realizes that it's him.

He doesn't know why he's crying, exactly, but he figures it's just because this is all so much. They're going to have a little boy sometime in May, which sounds so far away but really isn't. It's already the middle of November, and then it'll be December, and before long they'll be in April getting all the final touches ready and then poof. The baby is going to be born.

He can't tell right now if that's a good thing, or not.

It takes him a minute before he realizes that Niall's started crying too. His cries are different, though. While Harry's tears are falling silently after that one sob, Niall is practically in hysterics. He's trembling softly, and he has a death grip on Anne's hand too.

"I-I-I ca-ca-can't do this!" Niall sobs out, and it turns into a little chant. He can't, he can't, he can't. 

Anne rushes to stand up and move over to comfort him, "Hey.. Hey- Niall. You can. You can do this, you've got me, and Harry and-"

Something on the monitor- which is still hooked up to Niall's stomach- beeps, Niall gasps and squeezes his eyes shut tight, and the doctor calls for help.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked quickly, looking around as the chaos ensued. Anne was trying to calm Niall down and there are three new doctors in here, and Niall's clearly in pain, and Harry is totally and completely helpless.

One doctor seems to pity him, and explains quietly. "We're sending him to the hospital. The baby's in danger."

"In danger?" Harry squeaked out, "What does that mean? What- It's- We just saw it! It was fine!"

"Sometimes large amounts of stress can induce miscarriages." The doctor placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, "We have an ambulance on the way, and they'll do more for him in the hospital." He said sympathetically.

There's another big, ugly sob from Niall.

Harry looks over, and nearly wants to throw up himself when he notices that Niall's literally just covered his front in throw up.

He cringes, and Anne catches it and glares. He looks to Niall, and it's then he notices just how pale he's gotten, how he doesn't seem to be able to stop shaking, and how tense he is. Suddenly, the throw up doesn't seem to be such a big deal.

It's a whirlwind after that, with Harry and Anne riding in the ambulance with Niall and then Anne going with him while Harry stays in the waiting room.

He's crying all over again, and so he calls the lads because it's the only thing he can even think to do at this point.

They come over and huddle around Harry, each looking concerned for their friends. 

"It's a boy." Harry hollowly whispered. Nothing more, nothing less, just that.

Really though, all he's hoping is that his little boy isn't taken away already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Cliffhanger, I know, I know. I promise the next update will be very soon though! Once again I'm sorry this is short, but the next one will be longer, I promise!


	8. Chapter 8

Two hours feels like an eternity when you're sat in a hospital waiting room with nothing to do but tap your feet and wait.

The boys tried for Harry to cheer him up as best they could, Louis showing him a few gossip magazines from the small table next to his seat and Liam offering tentative smiles when he'd look over, but it doesn't help.

Harry feels numb. He feels totally and completely numb to everyone and everything around him. His mind is still whirling, and his chest is tight with a mix of grief and guilt. He'd spent so long just wishing that this baby had never existed, and this almost felt like karma sending him a big 'fuck you' for ever thinking like that in the first place.

He can't keep his mind off of the fact that this is a little boy. It shouldn't change anything because there was a 50/50 chance that this baby would come out a boy, and there was always the obvious fact that one way or another it would be born with a gender, but it does. It makes this all the more real, proves that there's a little person growing inside of Niall, and... And now that little person may be taken away before t even has a shot. 

Harry had been lost in his thoughts, staring down at the floor in front of him when finally Anne came out. He's so relieved when he hears the familiar sound of her heels clicking, because this is it. He's finally getting an update.

When he sees the tears running down her cheeks, he's not so sure he wants the update anymore.

At that point, Harry feels like he's in a movie. He's hyper aware of the lads blurring faces, all morphed into frowns of pure pity, and Anne seems to be walking in slow motion. Then there's the tears that are burning the backs of his eyes, and right on cue, Anne stops in front of him.

This is it.

He's prepared himself to hear her tell him what he thinks he already knows, so it catches him off guard when she breaks out into a smile and whispers,

"He's stable, Harry."

Harry takes a minute to process the words, before it finally hits him that his baby is fine. Their baby boy is alright after all, and he says a thanks to anyone and everyone that may be listening as he lets the tears fall once and for all.

He hadn't been expecting to cry happy tears in any sense, but there he is, flying up to hug his Mum tightly and letting out a wet laugh into her neck. "He's okay- My baby's okay." 

It's the first time he's referred to it... Him... Like that, and he realizes it's also the first time he's properly thought of it as his baby. He never had doubts he wasn't the father, but before this, he'd never felt like one. 

Now, he feels like he could scream it to the world.

"He's okay." Anne confirmed with a soft smile, "They had to work for him, it was quite a scare because Niall's blood pressure went up with the stress. And you know he can't take much medication, so they had to try all these other things and..." She trailed off, waving a hand through the air. It sounded like she had been getting chocked up, and Harry knows that no matter how he felt out here, it's nothing compared to what she and Niall were going through back in the room.

"Anyway, Niall's exhausted. Think it just really wore him out mentally and physically, and who could blame him? They're admitting him for an undetermined amount of time right now, the doctor said probablt a day or two at least unless his blood pressure spikes again." She explains, "But... I think he'd really appreciate it if you went back there and stayed with him, Harry."

Harry let out a shaky breath, biting into his bottom lip gently. "I don't know, Mum."

"Harry, I know things have been rough. And I know you're fighting. But at the end of the day, you both were best friends for years. You- You made this baby together, sweetheart. This is yours and his journey together, and you're not ever going to make any of this better by letting him go through the rough spots alone." Anne murmured softly, dropping a kiss to the side of his head.

"If you really can't," She added softly, "I understand. It was really traumatizing for all of us today, but imagine how he felt. Imagine if you were him- You'd want him to be back there with you, right?"

Harry's silent for a moment, before he looks up to Anne, meeting her eyes. "Can I borrow some money?"

-

That's how Harry finds himself knocking lightly on the door of room 462, a decent sized blue teddy bear tucked under one arm, and a few of Niall's favorite candy bars in the other.

One look at Niall tells Harry that Anne was right- today drained him. So for his sake, Harry offers a timid smile and enters without prompting, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

"M'not gonna even bother to ask how you are, because I think we both know the answer here, eh?" Harry said, shaking his head slightly. "That was a dumb joke. Well- I guess it wasn't really a joke.. I don't know, sorry."

Nialls lips quirked up into a small smile at that, shaking his head fondly. "You're something else, Styles." He croaked, gesturing slowly to the things in his arms. "What are those?"

Harry flips the bear around so Niall can see the neatly sewn, 'ITS A BOY!' into its stomach, and folds out the multiple candy bars with a smile. "Thought you could use some cheering up. I hear you had a really shitty day."

"That I did." Niall agreed with an ever so soft laugh, raising a brow at the bear. "Don't people usually get those the day the baby is born?"

"Well, see, that's what the check out lady said at the gift shop. But I disagree. Why would I get this for you the day of the birth, when you found out the gender today?" Harry shook his head , "It's weird to me."

There's a long pause, "We're having a baby, Harry. A baby boy."

Harry doesn't hesitate for once. He reaches over, takes Niall's hand, and gives it a small squeeze. "I know."

"Like- We're gonna have a boy to teach how to play footie, and buy moster trucks for, and... Well, I guess I shouldn't stereotype like that. Parents shouldn't limit their children based off of those typical things associated with boys. Maybe he'll wanna dress pretty or paint his nails but-" Niall cut himself off, shaking his head slightly and taking a deep breath, "It just feels different to know."

It's weird, Harry thinks, because Niall seems to talk about it all so easily. His words make it clear that he's thought about the ways other people parent, if he himself would be putting limitations to their child, and truthfully Harry never would have guessed that this was the same Niall that was sat on the examination table all of three hours ago in a panic attack.

But he looks closer, and he lets himself notice how Niall's eyes flicker as they speak. He takes note of how his fingers tap against the side of his thigh a mile a minute, not to mention how it appears he's clearly forcing himself to take deep breaths as the nurse had advised.

Harry had just assumed Niall dealt with everything because of his carefree attitude. Even when they were kids, Niall had always been the one to do something without worrying what the older kids might think or say because it was fun to him. Sure, the kids at school and the name calling had seemed to get to the blonde, but he'd brushed it off after a few hours every other time.

He'd had no other reason to think it was different now, but it was clear that it was. That it is. 

"We are." Harry said after a moment, giving Niall's hand a gentle squeeze. "But we're in this together, and we're gonna be just fine."

Niall eyes him for a moment, shaking his head slightly, "Are we though, Harry? Are we really? Because it damn sure hasn't seemed like it any other moment. All of a sudden you just- you're acting like you want this. Like you always have wanted this, and I really don't want to be played."

"I'm not trying to play you, Niall, I promise. I guess..." Harry was silent for a while, trying to figure out how to say everything he really wanted to get out. "I didn't know that I love this baby- our baby until there was a chance it was gone."

"It shouldn't have to be like that." Niall mumbled, "What, are you only gonna love him when he's sick? Or has a broken bone?"

Harry sighed, lacing his fingers with Niall's, "I know you're skeptical, I would be too. Anyone would be. I- I probably still won't be exactly like this all the time, I'll be honest with you now. This entire thing? It terrifies me. But when the guy said miscarriage and when my Mum came out crying... Fuck, Ni. I thought he was dead. I thought our baby boy was dead, and I just realized that this is ours, you know? Our baby. This is part me and it's part you and that's really scary, no doubt about it, but it's also kind of a miracle?"

Niall has tears in his eyes now, and Harry's wondering if he should go. The nurse had warned him not to say anything that would cause any big fluctuation in emotional state, but he hadn't thought he'd been saying that would do that. Then Niall speaks, and it makes his heart swell in a weird way that he didn't even know was possible when he whispers,

"You think he's a miracle?"

Harry should not have said that. He never should have even said any of this to begin with, should have told Niall he hoped he would be feeling better soon and gone back out with the others, but he stayed. He stayed, and now he's saying things that are probably only going to cause him trouble later, but he can't bring himself to stop.

Even though his head is screaming not to, Harry slides one hand over the small swell of Niall's stomach and looks into his eyes.

"Yeah, Ni. I do."

Niall's crying, but he's smiling, so Harry doesn't think there's a big problem. In his head, this is the part where he slides himself behind Niall and wraps both arms around him until his hands meet resting on his belly. Where he hooks his chin over Niall's shoulder and presses kisses up his neck and across his face until he lands a sweet one on his lips.

But that's in his head, where the worries aren't around anymore and he still isn't petrified to be saying the things that he is- true or not. So for his sake and Niall's, he just stays like that, with one hand resting on his bump, and the other squeezing his hand.

-

Harry doesn't know how long they're sat like that before Niall drifts off to sleep, but it feels like an eternity before he's able to slip their intertwined hands apart and move his hand slowly off his stomach. 

He wonders, briefly, if he should stay in case Niall wakes up again, but he's almost certain he'll be out until morning at least, so he trails out to the waiting room and takes his seat beside the others again.

"Well?" Anne prompted, looking at him expectantly, "How did it go?"

"It went..." Harry pressed his lips together, before giving a nod, "Good. It went good. He was happy, he seemed really... Well, not really, but he seemed pretty calm."

Anne gave a small nod, reaching over the armrests of the chairs to take Harry's hand and give it a soft squeeze, "Did you tell him how you feel now? It seemed you had a change of heart, H."

Harry shook his head slowly, letting out a soft sigh. "I mean- I sort of did? I don't know, Mum. I', still terrified and I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. But... I guess... This baby is mine. I've known that, but I've never felt like it was mine or realized that even though he hasn't been born yet, I'm his Dad. He's a boy- He's my boy."

"Exactly, Harry. He's your boy, and your boy needs you to step up and be his Dad." Anne sounded somewhat desperate at this point. She'd thought that this would be Harry's turning point, and while it had been in part, it was becoming clear that they still had a long way to go.

"It's not as easy as you're trying to make it sound Mum!" Harry finally just had to snap. This was a huge step for him, and all his Mum could do was continue to push him. "I've- Do you know how hard it is for me to admit this? To realize all of this?"

Anne moved her hand away, bringing it up to rub over her face with a sigh, shaking her head slightly. "I do, Harry. I do. But you only have six months, and you can't do this to Niall. He's carrying this baby, and he doesn't need the pressure of wondering if you're just not going to pay any mind to this baby. Just because he's staying with us.. It's not going to prove anything for you. You're the one that has to prove that you can be a Dad."

"I don't even know if I'm ready to prove that, Mum!" Harry groaned, "I don't know! Just because I called it my baby or our baby or whatever, it doesn't mean I'm ready for everything else."

"You-"

"Harry," Liam finally cut in, standing up and walking over to his friend, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Cmon. Let's go for a jog."

"A jog." Harry repeated with a slightly sarcastic chuckle. "Why would we go for a jog, Liam?"

"Well for one thing, I'm your training coach to get you on the track team in Spring, and I know you've been slacking on our schedule." Liam managed a slight smile, tinted with sympathy. "And for another thing, running clears your mind. You need to think before you say anything else."

Harry glanced back to Anne, before nodding to Liam and standing up, letting his friend lead him out of the hospital and momentarily away from all the crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I made the chapter longer just like I promised, and I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are always appreciated and encourage me to write more for you all!


	9. Chapter 9

"Am I a shit person?"

They've been jogging in silence for five minutes before Harry finally speaks, the words coming out blurted and a little breathy. He hasn't really been arsed to get up and jog and properly train, so even this steady moderate pace has him struggling.

In a way it's nice though- the burn in his lungs almost keeps him grounded.

"Nah mate," Liam replies after beat, "You're just figuring things out, yeah? Maybe messing it up a bit along the way, but still."

"That's not what everyone else seems to think." Harry pointed out, huffing softly, "I mean, my own Mum is defending Niall over me. And like, I get it, you know? I messed up, but now I'm trying and it just feels like nothing's ever going to be enough."

Liam slows his pace at that, expression going serious. Harry follows his lead and swallows the lump in his throat as they come to a complete stop on the sidewalk, just staring at each other for a moment.

"You have to prove yourself, Harry. You've been treating him like shit for months now, since he told you. There's a long way to go, and your Mum just wants to show you that. This isn't going to be handed to you on a silver platter- it's a bloody kid, for fucks sake!" Liam mutters, looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes now.

Harry clenches his fist in anger now, spark lighting inside him, "You're doing it too! You think I don't know that it's my baby, Liam?! I get that! I'm going to be a Dad, and I'm trying here, but no one even considers my feelings in all of this! Do you know how scared I am?! I'm terrified, and there's no one I can actually share my real feelings with without getting them pissed at me!" His throat is hurting by the end of it, his voice having raised to a scream by the end of his rant.

"You know what, Harry? Maybe you are a shit person. No one expects this to come easy to you or Niall. No one. Never has anyone once said to either of you that this is going to be easy! We all know it's not! But we're trying to support you and you just make it difficult." Liam crossed his arms over his chest, staring at him, "You think it's easy watching your best mates struggle? Do you know how many nights I've spent just laying there, hoping you two are gonna be alright?"

Harry cracks.

It's all just so much, it's too much for him, and he's so confused. He's so confused because he loves that baby more than anything in the world, but whenever he starts to feel like he can show it it's like the little baby boy turns into something horrible, something terrifying.

He's crying, he feels the tears dribbling down his cheeks and onto his plain white shirt, vaguely recognizing Liam mumbling his name and pulling him into his chest. He doesn't try and resist, wrapping his arms around his friend and squeezing him tightly.

"I'm so scared." He whispers brokenly, "I-I'm so scared, Liam."

Like the good friend he is, Liam doesn't try and tell him it's all going to be okay. Truthfully, he doesn't know what's going to happen. So he just squeezes Harry a little bit tighter.

"C'mon," Harry sniffs after about a minute, pulling back and giving Liam a playful nudge, "Let's just carry on, yeah?" 

"Yeah, let's carry on." Liam echoes, setting their pace again with a sideways glance to Harry every so often.

-

Harry had thought that going to school without Niall would be easier.

It's Monday and Niall's still admitted in the hospital, meaning Harry's walking into school without the blonde trailing behind him for the first time in months. It's strange how empty it feels, even if he had always been sure to walk at least 20 paces in front of him, at least he'd always known Niall was just right there behind him.

Words gotten out that Niall is in the hospital, but the real talk is exactly why. Harrys heard about ten different theories by lunch, ranging from a fight with his baby daddy to him having lost the baby and trying to commit. One kid makes a comment about it being from too much sex like the slut he is, and Harry nearly whacks him for it. Nearly.

Harry chooses to stay silent for most of it, toying with his pencil and pretending to be preoccupied by anything else, although the shame does creep up on him when he hears the other boys defending Niall in the classes they share.

He doesn't understand why exactly he can't bring himself to speak up, but he can't. It's not as if people are going to jump directly to the conclusion he's the father, but in his mind he can't risk it.

He's sitting at lunch with the other boys, making small talk about a footie match when a girl Harry recognizes from his sixth period approaches. She's a foreign exchange student, he's fairly sure, but honestly he's never been good at remembering people.

"Um- Hello." The blonde greets, offering a timid smile to Harry. He can hear the accent in the word although he can't place it, confirming his suspicious. "I- I'm Nadine? We have a few classes together." 

Harry glances to the other boys before settling his gaze back on the girl in front of him, nodding slowly, "Yeah, I recognize you. Nadine." He's lying a bit, because had they been anywhere else he wouldn't have remembered her. But details, really.

She smiles and Harry notices just how gorgeous she is, smirking a little to himself. "Would be pretty hard to forget a face like yours." He adds, shamelessly showing off his dimples that he knows will only have her swooning.

Nadine giggles at that, "Could say the same to you, pretty boy." She grins, "So, you like my face, I like yours.. I was thinking we could go out some time?" She's bold and normally Harry wouldn't like how cocky she's acting, but he's probably a bit desperate- especially with the glares he can feel being shot his way.

"Tonight, yeah?" He takes her hand and scribbles his number into her palm, "Text me. I'll tell you the time, pick you up and all. See you then." He lets her hand drop and finally turns around, her heels clicking as she walks away.

"Are you kidding me?" Louis hisses, looking angrier than Harrys ever seen him.

"What? I can't go out with a girl?" Harry's just annoyed now, face pinching up. "I don't understand what the big deal is."

"You're- Niall is in the hospital," Zayn says, like Harry's somehow forgotten it. "And you're going to be taking a girl out on a date?"

Harry lets out a groan at that, rolling his eyes, "It's not going to make a difference if I'm there or not." He mutters, "And keep your voice down."

"Harry.." Liam sounds like a parent, brow furrowed with concern but eyes clouded with a slowly burning anger.

"You want us to keep our voices down?" Louis lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head, "Right. Of course. Wouldn't want anyone knowing your dirty little secret, huh? Especially not your new little blonde."

"Seriously Harry," Zayn chimes, jaw clenched, "What the fuck? It's like every time you seem to take a step forward, you make it your mission to take a huge leap backward."

"What have I done wrong? It's just a date?" Harrys exasperated now, throwing his hands up a bit.

Louis shakes his head in frustration, "I thought you had changed- I thought you were actually changing and becoming this new person. I thought you had it in you to actually step up and-" He cuts himself off, "Whatever. I give up. I'm fucking done with this. I can't just sit and watch one of my best friends slowly destroy the other."

"Louis, really, maybe you should-" Liam tries.

"No, Liam, I can't even believe you're defending him right now! Do you not see how messed up this is? This is gonna kill him and you know it." Louis cuts him off, glaring harshly at him too.

"Of course I know it, but-"

"I'm with Lou on this one, Payno. That's just messed up." Zayn stands up, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "M'going out for a smoke before the next period, you coming Lou?" 

Without another word Louis stood up, following after Zayn, clearly tense. 

Harry stays silent, taking a bite of the sandwich his Mum had made him that morning, and trying to avoid Liam's gaze at all costs. 

-

Niall has never been more bored in his life. 

He's laying in the hospital bed, watching some movie the hospital had playing, school work Anne had picked up for him long since completed. 

There's not much to do other than that, he's on bed rest and he's never been much of a reader, so the few books the nurse had offered him were a no. 

Anne, bless her, returns with a tray of lunch for both of them just when he swears he's going to die from boredome.

"You know, I've never been a fan of hospital food, but this actually looks quite good." She announces with a bright smile, which Niall tries his best to return. He still isn't feeling well after yesterday, skin sickly pale and the bags under his eyes still dark. 

Her own smile falters slightly when she notices just how forced it is, sitting on the side of the bed and watching him carefully as he begins to nibble on the food. 

"You excited it's a boy?" She finally asks, eyes flickering to the bear sat in one of the chairs beside his bed. "Reckon that's pretty good news, yeah? Won't have to trade in footie matches for princess movies. Well, probably not anyway. If he's anything like Harry, he'll be obsessed with Disney films."

"Not a huge Disney fan, like the classic stuff at least." Niall admits, shrugging a little. "I mean- Yeah. I guess I'm happy. I mean- I am but... Just makes it even more real. We know it's a boy and now there's names to be picked out and all."

Anne nods knowingly, reaching forward to rest a hand gently on his knee, "Speaking of names, have you got any in mind?" She hummed, hoping it would lighten the mood a bit and keep him from stressing. 

"I mean, I guess a few." He mumbled, licking over his bottom lip. "I like- I like Colby. And Asher. But.. I still don't know for sure. Guess I have some time." He toyed with the sheets around his waist, shrugging slightly.

"They're cute." Anne nodded in approval, chuckling softly. "My Mum taught me something when I was pregnant- to make sure it's the name, you've got to start calling it all the time. I shouted Harry in the living room for an hour straight. If you get sick of it, you probably don't want to name your little one that."

Nialls lips finally curled into smile now, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. "Guess that's a good idea. Apparently I was a bit of a hyper child, so if he takes after me at all, I'm going to be shouting his name a lot." It takes a moment before what he had said actually registers, smile dropping.

Anne watches with sad eyes as he pushes the food away, shaking her head a little, "You've got to eat it, Niall." She told him, "The baby needs it. If you don't eat, he doesn't either. Plus you need it too."

"I'm just not hungry." He murmured, wringing his hands together in his lap, "Sorry."

"You've got to eat it." She repeated firmly, "There's no choice in this. You need to eat so that little boy can eat. You already had one big scare, you're still being monitored, do you really want to have another?"

And no, Niall definitley doesn't want that, but his stomachs already churning and he can't stand the thought of another bite. 

Still, he knows the baby needs it, so he slowly forces down the rest of the food. 

It comes back up five minutes later, and Anne rubs his back and holds him close when it does, kisses his head when he starts to cry from both the throwing up and exhaustion. 

He lets the tears fall and imagines, just for a moment, that everything is going to be okay.

He throws up again and it brings him back to reality. Reality where he knows nothing is ever going to be okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for the (very long) wait! My intentions were to pre-write a few chapters because I knew the past two months were going to be busy, but things got crazy earlier than I had expected and I never had the time to write.
> 
> But I'm back now, and I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

_Harry's always known that Niall was different._

_It took him years, stretching on from his early teens until he was about 15, to really understand why, though._ _The thing is, he's never had to think about it before. He's never had to consider what they were, if it was diffferent than is other friendships, because it's always just been. No one has ever really questioned where they stand, and they haven't either, they just... Are._

_They've had this thing going on, him and Niall, where they'll just mess about with each other and cuddle closer on the couch than neccesary and maybe hold hands sometimes. It's not like they're together, because they're definitley not, but there's a hint of something there that they can both sense but neither make a move on._

_He hadn't thought much of it, honestly. Niall was a hugger so the cuddles were just him being his typical touchy-feely self, and all of them tended tease each other so there wasn't anyrhing strange about that either. Except..._

_Except there is something strange, because Harry definitely doesn't curl into any of the other boys chests like he does Niall's. He doesn't look at them the same way, he doesn't even feel the same way. It's like there's love for the other boys, and then there's love for Niall on a completely different level._

_Which is scary, because he doesn't quite know what "it" even is. He just knows it there. It's never been a problem, so it's easy enough to just let it simmer until they can look into it deeper, but then things change._

_Harry asks a girl to homcoming._

_It's just a dance, that's all it is, but Niall slowly starts pulling away. All of a sudden there's space between them on the couch, and Niall's skipping out on them with the excuse of other plans or too much school work._

_Niall's never lied to them before, and now he is, and Harry doesn't quite know what to make of it all. He brushes it off as a rough week._

_One week morphs into two. Harry asks the girl to be his girlfriend officially. Things go downhill quickly._

_Three weeks after the dance, they manage to convince Niall to come over to Harry's to spend the night._

_It's where they typically gather- Louis has four sisters, Liam's parents are a bit too protective, Zayn's got sisters too, and Niall's house is too small for them to comfortably chill. Anne makes sure the fridge is stocked and gives them their space other than that, so Harry's place is obviously the best choice. It's fine, until Louis mentions how he's thinkint of asking a girl from their English class out, which of course, leads to Zayn questioning him about the girl he's currently going out with._

_"She's proper fit, mate." He praises, letting out a low whistle, "If you hadn't taken her, I'm sure everyone would be after her."_

_"Carly?" Harry glances over to Niall from the corner of his eye, not missing the way the boy tenses up. "I mean.. Yeah. She is. I like her a lot, bro."_

_Louis gets a text from one of his mates, probbaly Stan, about a party before the conversation can continue. "Hey! Lads, party over at Gabes. You know the guy on the swim team? Apparently everyones there."_

_"_ _I'm in." Zayn nodded, and when Louis flung his arm around his shoulders, Liam had to agree too._

_"How about you lads?" Liam questioned, looking to Harry and Niall._

_"I- I'm not up for it tonight." Niall mumbled quietly, and it makes Liam frown but nod. "Harry?" It's the question he doesn't know is going to change everything._

_"I'll stay."_

_So it's just Niall and Harry, sitting in Harry's basement with Harry on the couch and Niall in the arm chair. And then Harry decides to go over and try and cheer Niall up from where he's still frowning, sits himself in the smaller boys lap and starts to tickle him._

_Then, before he can even realize it, he's kissing Niall. He's kissing Niall, and there's so much heat behind it, and then suddenly Nialls straddling his lap and riding him and._

_And Harry liked it more than he would ever admit._

_That's how it all goes horribly wrong._

-

"Niall?" Anne tries for the third time, lips pursed together.

She's been waiting for him to respond for nearly five minutes, yet he's just stayed turned toward the window for the entirety of it. "I know this is hard, alright? I was in your shoes- Well, not exactly like this, but I was there too. And I didn't think my baby had a very good father either." She murmured, "But-"

"But what?" He finally replies, sounding exasperated with his nose stuffed up. "But- But what? This is all so shit, a-and I don't think a baby is worth this."

"You don't mean that." Anne sighed, "You just wait until hes really here. You'll love him more than anything."

"I love him now." Niall admits with a small sniffle. "He's just.. He makes me miserable at the same time. Everything- Everything is so shit, and it's only going to get worse."

It's been two weeks in the hospital. Two full weeks of shit food and IV's and the stupid itchy and revealing hospital gown. The boys have come to visit, along with Harry a few awkward times, but honestly Niall preferred when he didn't come.

He knew Harry was dating someone now, the lads had told him the truth a few days after it happened, but it still hurt. Maybe it was ridiculous, because if one of them was miserable there was no need for Harry to be too, but at the same time Niall wished he was. Wished he was suffering just as much as he was.

"But one day in a few months, you'll be holding him to your chest and he'll be sleeping, and you'll see." She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair gently, "I promise. Now, I have some good news- they're letting you out of here."

"Really?" Niall's surprised to hear that, because ever since there was a little bit of blood in his puke last week they had been insistent upon keeping him in for observation.

"Mhmmm.. Your blood pressure is low, you're all hydrated, everything looks good. Your littl boy see,s as healthy as can be right now." Anne shot him a small grin, "So, I brought some sweatpants and a shirt, get changed and we'll get you out of here, alright?"

Niall bobs his head in a form of a nod and takes the things from her, shuffling into the bathroom and slipping the clothes on. When he finally does come back out, he scrunches his nose up at the sight of the wheelchair waiting for him.

"You expect me to sit in that?" Niall asked, raising a brow at Anne, "There's no way-"

"It's the only way that you're getting out of here." Anne leveled him with a look of her own that had him shrinking back. "Now get in the chair, let me push you down, and you're free to walk around at home as you please."

Despite his efforts, Niall finds his lips curling up into a hint of a smile as he sits himself down in the wheelchair, that blue teddy bear in his lap on the way down. When they do reach the car the boys are there waiting, and Niall's smile only falters just slightly when he realizes that Harry is the only one that hasn't shown up.

It's not that it's surprising, because he hadn't been around for weeks now, so it wasn't like that was going to change suddenly. Yet there was a small part of him that had been hoping that maybe just once, Harry would want to take a step and do something.

He pushes himself up nonetheless and playfully shoves Louis' shoulder, sensing the relief that washes over the other boys at the action. It's not like anything has been normal among them for ages now, but it's the little things that make them all forget just how messed up the situation they're in is.

But then it starts to rain on the way home and Niall finds himself gazing out the window, mindlessly tracing the drops of water trickling down the window with his index finger as they speed along, one hand splayed on his stomach when he feels it.

It's a weird sort of feeling, almost like a flutter but a bit more firm and he tenses for a moment, waits, and then nothing.

Then, suddenly, there's another much sharper jab in that same spot, and his eyes widen as he stares down at his stomach.

"Holy shit," He breathed out, "Liam- Shit- Feel that!" Before the boy can protest since he's the one sat beside him Niall yanks his hand over and presses it to that same spot, waiting despite Liams confusion.

It's almost a full minute, but then his little boy gives another hard kick, one that has Liam's brows shooting up, whistling lowly at the force with a wide grin on his face.

"You've got yourself a little footballer in there, Niall." Liam beams, "That, or one hell of a karate master."

"He kicked.." Niall just can't believe this. Can't believe that he actually made a human being, that he's growing a fucking kid, and that the kid is kicking now.

"He kicked?" Anne called excitedly from the front seat, glancing to Niall through the rear view mirror, "You better be sure he doesn't stop until after we get home! I need to feel him!" She laughed.

It's all laughs and fun for a bit, with Louis and Zayn both reaching to touch his stomach and feel, then plotting out what kinds of careers are open to him with such strength, but then Niall remembers that Harry isn't here.

Harry, the father of this baby, wasn't even there to experience the moment he kicked for the first time probably becayse of his girlfriend, and it sucks. It sucks far more than Niall has shown, breaks his heart in ways he didn't know was possible.

He turns out the window again, and once more he gets that sharp kick, wondering if maybe that's just his little boy letting him now they'll be alright, with or without Harry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So school starting again has messed me up a lot, I've been trying to write this forever and I'm still not happy with it so my apologies if it wasn't the best, but I thought I had kept you all waiting long enough and I wanted to at least put something out! I'm going to try hard to get regular updates out (I really really want to upload once a week!) but you all understand how school is and how it's priority, etc, etc.
> 
> Anyways! I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite its shorter length, thoughts are always appreciated :D


	11. Chapter 11

Harry feels alright for the first time in forever, he has to admit.

Maybe it's just the relief of having an excuse to avoid the house, avoid Niall and the baby, but he just finally feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. In retrospect, he should have probably been anticipated the downfall of it all, because all things considered nothing seems to stay too happy in his life for long.

It starts off on a Monday morning when he gets a text off Nadine.

It's a simple, 'We need to talk.' but the lack of her typical kisses or emojis at the end sends his stomach twisting. They've messed around a few times, sure, but he's always been safe. He doesn't know what he'll do if she's pregnant too, probably just hole himself up in his room and never come out.

He hasn't got an appetite for breakfast after reading that, and with Niall still not coming to school his Anne has been refusing to give him rides, so he's left to walk alone with his backpack slung lazily over one shoulder, his stomach twisting with dread.

When he gets there he feels the stares as he walks through the courtyard, licking across his slightly chapped lips. Does everyone know she's pregnant? They must, they're all just.. Looking at him, like he's some alien with a disgusting second head. 

Nadine is sitting at one of the tables and he finally takes his seat across from her, preparing how he's going to respond. He'll just assure her that he's willing to step up, figures raising a baby with her is better than one with Niall, but then she speaks.

Then she speaks, and Harry honestly wishes she were pregnant because what she says is so much worse.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to a father?" She's got this annoyed look on her face, lip curled upward into something that Harry can only imagine is disgust.

Harrys first instinct is to deny. Deny, deny, deny. "I don't know what you're talking about." He's gripping the straps of his backpack tightly, knuckles close to white with the vice. 

"Everyone knows, Harry." Nadine growls, actually growls it out. "Everyone knows you're the one that got that Neil kid pregnant, you made a fool out of me!"

Harry doesn't know what to say, feels like he's got a giant ball of cotton in his mouth. He can't speak, his mouth opening and closing as if hoping to find the words he can't seem to get a grasp on. Unfortunately, the first thing he says isn't any more helpful. "Niall- His names- Niall."

Nadine huffs, stands up harshly and gives him a smack upside the head. Everyone's staring. "You're a dick, Harry."

Harry doesn't know if she's waiting for him to deny it or confirm it, but she's stood towering above him while he rubs the tender area gently, shrugging meekly. He swallows thickly in hopes of ridding the suddenly tightness there, "I- I wasn't trying to.. To make a fool out of you or whatever." 

"Well you did." Nadine snapped, grabbing her binder and her signature Starbucks, before she stomps off, leaving Harry to wonder what the hell has happened.

His first instinct is to find Louis, so he stands up and tries his best to ignore the gazes of most of the student body. Luckily the boys are a bit aways with a few other lads Harry vaguely remembers, but he doesn't care. He shoves Louis roughly the moment he gets closer to him, catching him off guard.

"What the fuck, Harry?" Louis says, annoyed, his face twisting up.

"You- You did this! You ruined my life! You told everyone!" Harry's seething, practically trembling with rage. He knows Liam would never turn his back on him, and Zayn hates sticking his nose into other people's business, which leaves Louis who is practically the King instigator himself.

"Actually, Harry." Louis drawls it out, shaking his head, "As much as I wish I could take credit for this, I can't. Someones mum apparently works at the hospital, unfortunately for you on the same floor as Niall. Apparently recognized us, told her daughter, and of course the mum broke confidentiality and told her." He gestured to Harry, "Which is the real cause of this."

Harry's practically trembling with rage, his fists clenched up firmly, "I didn't want people to know! This is exactly why I never went around that hospital, you know! I just knew that something like this-"

"Oh, would you cut the bullshit." Louis' face is all pinched up now in the special way it only gets when he's truly peeved about something. "You didn't come around the hospital because you're scared to take responsibility for once in your life, Harry. You've got a son on the way, the father of your child is having a bit of a rough pregnancy, and you just don't care."

"I care." Harry's immediate response is mumbled out, shaking his head slightly, "I do care, Louis. I just.. Every pregnancy has it's rough points." He thinks he might have heard that in health, but really he hasn't been arsed to pay too much attention in school for years. 

"Most pregnancies don't involve miscarriage scares, or dealing with high blood pressure." Louis pointed out, "You would know that if you even asked your Mum what was going on. He's fine now with that, but that doesn't mean his morning sickness or his bloating or the cramps have gone away."

"Since when did you become a bloody midwife?" Harry snapped, hardly resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He's fed up with Louis talking down to him like this.

Louis stares at him for a moment before he laughs, "My mum is an actual midwife, Harry. She does appointments at our house sometimes and I've overheard enough. Plus she's been pregnant plenty, I've got four younger sisters. I think I know the side effects of pregnancy by now."

"Doesn't make you a fucking expert on it." Harry's trying to be mad but.. But he's tired. He's tired, already feels exhausted and the days hardly begun. 

Everyone knows.

"This was bound to come out eventually, Harry." Liam is the one to try and console him, sensing that he's getting all worked up about this. "I mean- What if your son.."

Harry zones out after that, doesn't know how he's going to deal with people saying that. 'Your son.' Is just so loaded, reminds him that in only a handful of months he's going to be an actual father, and he's not ready in any sense.

He vaguely recognizes the bell ringing and follows the flow of students streaming into the building to get to his first class, but he's numb.

The day goes by painstakingly slow, Harry honestly swears that eight hours have never felt longer than now. Every class he walks into a room full of whispers and everything goes silent as he takes his seat, but they're all eyeing him up. 

He does feel bad for a moment, realizing that this is what Niall has put up with for so much longer, but he quickly goes back to his self pity. Niall hasn't had to come to school in ages now, Harry's the one dealing with everything right now.

Finally, he gets to go home. He ignores the boys calls as he walks right out of the school, puts his earbuds in for the walk home to drown out anything someone might say. He doesn't want to think about getting asked about the baby, about names and the gender and details. He can't stand the thought of it.

When he gets home he's still in his terrible mood, lips pressed firmly together as he walks to fridge and graves a yogurt out, Niall and Anne both eyeing hom from the kitchen table where she's taking the boys blood pressure.

"Got an interesting call from the school nurse today.." Anne finally speaks, clearing her throat some and raising a brow slightly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Harry grunts. 

"You're sure-"

"I said no!" Harry slams the drawer he had been getting his spoon from shut, turning to his mum with a harsh glare. "I've had a really terrible day, and all I want to do is go upstairs!"

"Just because you've had a rough day doesn't excuse anything, Harry. We all have rough days, but it's time that you mature and learn how to find happiness in what you do have." Anne speaks firmly, but Harry can see the soft look in her eyes. It must be hard, he figures, having to try and play the stern dad role whilst being a nurturing mother too.

Because he loves his mum, Harry sits with them at the table and starts to eat his yogurt.

He tries not to focus on whatever it is exactly that they're doing, but he finds himself watching from the corner of his eye anyway. It still startles him when Anne grabs his hand, giving it a small squeeze before placing it on Niall's stomach.

The boys got his shirt rolled up, showing his well rounded out stomach, and Harry stares for just a beat before asking, "Why am I-" He's uncomfortable, wants nothing more than to move away, but then he feels it..

It's a sharp jolt beneath his hand that has him startling, flailing back as he looks at Niall's stomach with wide eyes, glaring when he notices Niall laughing. "Why are you laughing?! You've got some sort stomach issue, I really didn't need to be feeling that!"

"S'not a stomach issue." Niall shook his head slightly, a fond smile on his face. "That's- That's our son, Harry. That's our son trying to cheer you up."

Harry doesn't know how he feels about this, exactly, but. 

But he moves forward and kneels down anyway, tells himself it's because he's curious about the concept and not the baby itself. He pokes at different spot and doesn't even notice he's grinning from the little kicks he gets in return, just focuses on that.

He doesn't think about the other kids, about how Niall and his Mum are staring at him now.

Harry leans forward, presses his cheek to Niall's stomach, and just beams when he feels another kick there. He's still nervous, terrified even, and he doesn't want Niall and his Mum getting the wrong idea but... He figures feeling just one more kick wouldnt be a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! I've updated again :D plus it's a longer update than the last one, so I hope you enjoy it! As always feedback is what keeps me writing this, so please let me know your thoughts!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for deserting this story for a bit! I had insane writers block on this chapter, hence the small time skip.
> 
> Sorry if some of you are a little dissatisfied by what I chose to do with this chapter, but hopefully you'll understand!

Harry makes the track team.

He doesn't expect it, is the thing, considering he's slacked off on his running with Liam recently, but the coach welcomes him with a harsh slap to his back and a grin. Maybe it's out of sympathy, or maybe he just thinks Harry's going to be a good asset to the team, but either way, he's made it. 

It's April now, the sun peaking through the clouds without providing any real heat, but Harry doesn't care about the cold. He runs the way home just because he can, with his new jacket displaying the Holmes Chapel Track Team logo in fat letters across the back.

"Mum?" He calls as he walks in through the door, running a hand through his curls. "Mum? Where are you? I've got something to show you!"

"She had to run to work, she forgot some papers." Niall explains, appearing in the doorway with one hand resting on the swell of his stomach. 

Harry thinks he's massive now, though it's probably only because of his small build. Niall can't be any bigger than the average person, but it makes him look disproportionate, like his still skinny legs shouldn't be able to hold him up.

"I take it the track auditions went well?" He adds, giving Harry an encouraging grin.

"They're called try-outs, Ni, but they went well. I got on the team. Would you believe that?" Harry let's out a breathless laugh, shuffling closer until he can rest a hand on Niall's stomach.

"I can, you've been working hard, since the fall." Niall reminds, moving his hand back, "Hard work pays off, and this just proves it."

Harry slides down onto his knees with a thoughtful him, nuzzling his nose against the bump. He goes through phases, sometimes he's terrified and sometimes he's deveststed as the reality of parenthood sinks in, but he knows why now.

He loves this baby.

He loves his son with his entire heart, even if he hasn't even gotten the chance to meet him yet. There's a part of him that has a hard time showing it, that makes him want to deflect everything away instead of actually coping with it, but then he'll get to feel a little kick from his son, and that small action is enough to fill his heart back up.

"Hey little guy," Harry coos softly, letting his cheek press up against Niall's stomach, "It's your daddy again. I made a proper high school sports team! Now no matter what, I can be the athletic one between your other daddy and I."

"Oi!" Niall shouts from above him, giving Harry a playful whack to the head, "Don't lie to our child, Harry! You have to teach him good ethics. At least I can kick a football pretty decent."

"Your other daddy just doesn't want to face the truth." Harry tuts, smirk playing on his lips, "Anyways, bean. We love you so much, and I promise some day, I'll let you try my jacket on."

Harry carries on whispering his sweet nothings, savoring in every little kick he recieves as a response, when Niall suddenly gasps.

"Niall," He says slowly, trying to make himself seem calm, though there's already a panic building up in his lower stomach, "What's wrong?"

"I think- I think the baby is coming?" Niall's got tears in his eyes now, "Shit, Harry! This baby can't come now! It's too early! Fuck-" He's cut off by another sharp gasp, and Harry pops up onto his feet in an instant. 

"Okay, okay- Let's just go sit down Ni, okay? Just sit, and I'll call my Mum." Harry wraps on arm around his waist, wincing himself at the low whimper that passes Niall's lips. "Maybe this is just those false contractions the doctor warned us about, yeah?"

"I've- Had them- All day." Niall's crying now, the words choked out between gaspe breaths of air that probably aren't helping the situation at all. "I thought it was gas!" He wails.

Harry hates hormones.

"I know, love, okay? Just breathe. Juet breathe in, and out." Harry's trying his best to be helpful, but Niall gives him something resembling a stink eye even through his hysteria, and he just calls his Mum.

He's giving her a rushed explanation of what's going on when he glances back, noticing the wetness seeping down the legs of the chair. It's clear but tinted brown, like rusty water, and Harry knows what it is without having to think very hard.

"Fuck," He says.

"Fuck." Niall agrees with his big teary eyes and quivering lip, before he bursts into a fresh set of sobs.

-

Niall goes by ambulance to the hospital, and Harry rides right behind them with his mother. His leg is shaking nervously, and it doesn't stop once, not even as they sit in the waiting room while Niall's gone back for surgery.

"They do this all the time, babe." Anne says softly, reaching over to take his hand, "Premature babies are born every day, and plenty of them grow big and strong."

"And how many die?" Harry deadpans, letting out a bitter laugh. "How many grow up with medical problems?"

A pause.

"You need to think more optimistic, love. Those kinds of thoughts aren't going to get you anywhere. That child doesn't need his dad giving up on him before you've even given him a fair chance to fight." Anne says, giving Harry's hand a small squeeze.

"I'm scared, Mum." Harry admits, the tears previously stinging the back of his eyes pooling up at the front now. "I don't want him to die, I- I don't want to lose him before I've even had him. I feel like before, all over again."

"He made it before," Anne reminds, "You could have lost him ages ago, darling, but you didn't. Somehow, that little baby knows how to fight, and I haven't got one but of doubt that he'll do it again."

"What if that was all the fight he had?" Harry whispered, turning to face her properly. "What if all of this was for nothing?"

"What if the sky falls down?" Anne replies easily, "What if aliens come down from Mars? What if he lives, and grows up into a sweet little boy?"

-

He comes into the world at just over three pounds, which in itself, the doctors call a miracle.

Theyd anticipated him to hardly be reaching two at the point in the pregnancy he'd arrived, but Harry honestly can't understand how a baby could be any small than this.

Their little boy is in the NICU, laying in one of the incubator cribs, half of his finger hardly the side of Harry's fingernail. He's so small, as though even the baby raising his arm would break him, but he's half Harry.

In his ideas of what it would be like, Harry had always imagined a tiny baby boy identical to himself, like someone had edited his face into the body of a baby.

It isn't like that though. He's just a tiny baby, every little part of him frail, although Harry can't help but grin when he notices a little birthmark underneath his chin, just like the one he's got himself.

"He's perfect," Harry whispers to his Mum, letting out a quiet, breathless laugh, "He's stunning, he's.. He's even got that same little freckle that I do."

"I reckon he's got your eyes too," Anne places one hand on Harry's shoulder, looking to the little boy with fond eyes. "Once he's older he'll probably have the same head of hair as you too. Right now he's still not quite old enough to look like either of you, but give it a month or so, and you'll be able to see it."

"Niall's alright too?" Harry asks after a moment, "Was the surgery alright for him? He was nervous about it, you know."

"Everything went well." Anne assured, "They won't let him down here for a while, but I think we may be able to convince the nurse to bring your little guy up to his room for a few minutes. No parent should have to be away from their kid like this."

"It isn't fair that he hasn't gotten to see him yet," Harry sighs quietly, "He went through all of the pain to get him out here, and he seemed terrified."

"Everyone is," Anne chuckles softly, "I've heard you don't get okay with the entire experience until at least the fifth kid."

Harry laughs too, slipping his phone out from his pocket and to snap a quick picture of the baby. He hopes it'll keep Niall sane until a nurse can bring him up, and it's something to send to the lads.

Anne steps back now, and Harry takes it as a cue that they should head up to visit Niall. He nods slightly, leaning down to whisper a quiet goodbye to the baby, and finds his heart tugging when he takes a step back. Now that he's seen him, he isn't so sure he wants to leave his boy.

"Do you think I should invite the lads over?" Harry asks, trailing behind his Mum to the elevators. 

"That might be nice for Niall and you," Anne nods, "You have to tell them they can't be as loud and bothersome as usual, okay? That goes for you too. No starting fights. He's going to be exhausted, and hormonal, and you'd all better be on your best behavior."

Harry doesn't dare to argue, sending a quick text with the photo he had taken, slipping his phone into his pocket after. Anne knocks twice though Harry doesn't see the point, giving Niall a grin as they step inside.

The blonde looks properly exhausted for his part, and Harry doesn't blame him. His hair is fluffed in a multitude of directions, dark circles resting beneath his eyes, and when he makes a move to sit up he winces. But he's smiling anyways, which is typical Niall behavior.

"How is he?" Niall asks immeadiatly, "Is he gorgeous? Can I come see him?"

"You've got to wait on that, love. I asked the nurse if she might be able to bring him up for a visit, so we'll see about that." Anne takes a seat on the edge of the hospital bed, taking his hand into her own. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Niall admits, "Tired. Mostly I just want to see him, though. I want to see him for myself and know he's okay."

"He's alright for now, they'll probably keep him here until he weighs more, but at least there doesn't seem to be anything else serious going on. He was just eager to meet the both of you." Anne says with a soft laugh.

Harry makes his way over now, pulling the picture up on his phone, "This is him, Ni." He whispers, handing it down to him, "You did really great, you know."

Niall stares at the phone for a while, his eyes widened slightly in something close to awe, "He's stunning." He whispers, tears clouding his eyes, "That's our baby, H."

"He is," Harry agrees, glancing to his Mum befor carefully taking Niall's other hand, "What do you want to name him?" 

They haven't talked about names yet, not in depth. There's so much they hadn't had the chance to do, like build a nursery, or buy clothes and diapers, but their little guy was too eager to wait. He isn't too stressed about most of it--from what Anne's been saying, they won't have to rush. The doctors are going to keep both Niall and the baby for quite a while.

Niall hesitates for a moment, glancing up to Harry, "Do you care? I mean, you won't be disappointed?"

"You did so much these past months, Niall. You loved and cared for him when I didn't." Harry points out, thumb brushing over his knuckles. "I want you to name him, whatever you want."

"Cayden," Niall says softly, returning his gaze to the small, sleeping baby pictured on the phone. "Cayden Prosper Styles."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the One Direction song 18. This is something I've had in my drafts for ages now and have finally decided to post. If the feedback is good I already have the next part in the works and know where I would want to take this. Hope you enjoyed!


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